Evoking Eclipse Blessings
April sprung immediately from the rebirth of Easter in the center of an eclipse window. The lunar eclipse on March 25th pulled me out of sleep with my heart pounding. In its wake, I purged more of my heart’s wounding illuminated in detail in my sleep. Many dreams additionally showed me the physical steps that would follow to facilitate the resolution.
In several I was a queen partnered with a king. In one, I was in a time of war advising him to utilize compassion in the face of a threatening revolt. In another I was both an advisor and the queen, and I was performing a scan on my queen self, unveiling puppet strings, boobytraps, attachments, and other negative interfering energies/constructs. This allowed me to then address them physically in the form of blocks, misaligned relationships, and distorted narratives and imprints ready to be released.
I actually felt the shackles and cords surface in my body as they were able to be dismantled. Some of these mechanisms were part of situations I was aware of and working on for some time; some were imprinted from people and situations I would have not perceived harmful. As we expand, we just move beyond perceived limitations. We don’t have to see this as good or bad. We live in constructs of perception and density that allow us to grow through circumstances and experiences catered to our soul’s choices and evolution. We are designed to change stories, boundaries, and experiences. We are here to remember ourselves as unlimited love, and it gets easier as we release judgment.
Whatever we have put off in feeling and acceptance in the way of love eventually comes to call. Our perspective and approach greatly influence how we move through these cycles. If we work with ourselves lovingly and trust our place in life, it is less scary. As we allow ourselves to feel what we may have avoided or forgotten, the charge and reactivity in us diminishes over time. Once emptied and understood, a new choice and outcome become available. We no longer stay looped to the same, reminding and warning ourselves of what we fear will come to pass. We experience ourselves as having been there and done that, no thank you, and no need to repeat. We are wiser and less moved by any resurgence or reminder.
As love in form, we have perceived our separation from source awareness fearfully and painfully at times. When these experiences are compounded in ignorance, we have wounds that are often pervasive and disruptive. We have collectively forgotten our connection to life and our unity with all things. We often focus on our personal trials in a disempowered state, forgetting we are the creators of our reality.
This eclipse window brought me a gallery of experiences that involved different times, scenarios, and players in my life, but as I approached the solar eclipse on April 8th, I was shown they all sprouted from one underlying vein of distortion. Many doctrines refer to this phenomenon as a core wound or core belief. It is an underlying foundational energy that manifests many offshoots of perspective and experience.
I have experienced shame as long as I can remember. It has always been a backdrop of my identity. I can see now how many of my experiences have manifested from this feeling of worthlessness. No matter what I accomplished or was told, I could not connect to the good in me. I could not believe I was loveable. There were early childhood traumas seemingly validating these feelings in my young mind. Knowing they were wrong, doesn’t take away the experience of the feeling.
As I accept and allow this to be a part of my human experience, it has less effect on me. I spent a lot of my younger years running from pain and chasing highs in the external world. Operating from “If I accomplish this, I will have/feel that. If I have this, I will know I am that.” It never came to fruition in the ways I expected or desired of course. Ironically, I am far happier now having explored and embraced the darker depths of myself.
As I have allowed and processed the passage of all pains and negative projections, I know I am love. In my willingness to continually surrender to the greater forces operating in my life, I know I am loved. I realize my ignorance will always sell myself short. My fragmentation will limit my perspective often, but the need to be right can be surrendered too. I can forgive the betrayals or rejections of others, understanding they arose out of this foundational distortion. Ultimately, I come to see this as reflections of self-rejection and betrayal, and endeavor in forgiving myself. I commit to loving and honoring myself more, to re-establish a healthier core setting that shifts my reality over time.
Peace comes from living in unconditional love and awareness of self. What I perceive as disruptive is only reflecting something left unresolved or unexplored in me. If I shift my focus to my inner journey and commit to mastering my energy in all its distortions and contributions, I am less affected by the external instability. I know my job is to stabilize myself as a contribution.
This eclipse passage has helped me close a significant chapter of my past peacefully. I am relieved of thoughts and attachments that once seemed so important and detrimental. I have removed “villain” and “hero” from my story entirely, recognizing they are perspectives that are relative too. I realize the judgments of others were really reflecting my own, and that when I am deeply committed and solid in myself, they lack any power at all. I have reinforced my commitment to myself; I will love and sustain myself so thoroughly that it will be the only reality returned.
This is not done out of selfishness, because I recognize my connection to others and respect their sovereignty. I can love what I don’t agree with or fully understand. I also know I am responsible for my creations and not at the whim of any one else’s version of reality. I am still integrating parts of myself in a new way. Some of these aspects were ostracized and guarded against out of past hurt and fear, some are parts of me in other dimensions. As I prayed during this time, allies came with gifts.
One was a multicolored, iridescent dragon that immediately smoothed out my energy fields and lower four body system. It felt like reflective, rainbow shining layers or coats were painted on parts of me, sealing and protecting me in all dimensions. I was self-contained and sustained in a way, and any conflicting energy sent would be returned in a peaceful manner. The dragon let me know it would help others see their own reflection in me positively and help me move through any outer chaos with ease. I was reminded this is a dragon aspect of me, and that I need to remember the things I often see as higher guidance or beings, are often parts of myself in those dimensions. This is true for all. This is true for the earth energies too. The ocean always laughs at me when I thank her as a separate entity. We are the world.
As humanity evolves, it will transcend its attachment to a polarized and divisive reality. We will go beyond our perceived limitations and fragmentation in recognition of our place in the unified field of creation and awareness. This occurs in each as part of the one. As more choose to forgive and accept any opposition as part of themselves in a field of totality, resistance and conflict will give way to transmutation and transformation. We cannot change or heal what we deny, refuse, or oppose.
Love is encompassing and uplifting. Love is the glue that unites and ignites new creative openings. In love the two come together to create three; the three containing the essence of the two but expanding upon that union to present something of its own.
Love beholds us beyond our wounds of separation. Love knows where we outgrow the limitations in understanding and fear. Love remembers who we are and is patiently waiting for humanity to recognize itself.
When we are at war with ourselves, we are at war with others. When we dehumanize and disregard parts of ourselves, we do it to others. When we forgive ourselves, we do so with others. When we connect to the light in ourselves, we are then able to connect to it in others. We are not limited by any external opinions, judgments, or choices unless we so choose.
Those that fail to see the darkness in themselves, are easily snared by its existence and manipulation in “others.” They are unable to recognize how their wounds are exploited and weaponized. Their uncertainty in themselves perpetuates fear and perceived threats in their external reality. Meet all facets of yourself with acceptance and love. Only then can you truly find peace and compassion in a world in flux. You will then attract and reflect this in your reality and leave everyone to their own beautiful process and purpose. Everyone plays a unique part in the overall tapestry of life.
What humanity needs now is love.
What the world needs now is love.
This eclipse window concludes with a new moon, inviting us to start a new chapter in life in some way. What if we intend to create a reality based on love? What if we choose love as our guiding force and principle? Can we simply invite it, remember it, recover it, discover it, embrace it, breathe it, be it, and live it as ourselves?
New ways are being implemented now to transcend the stagnation and conflicts of old. Can LOVE find its home and ally in you?
Marching Into Spring
Spring cleaning came early for me. As I continued with my daily prayer procession, I increasingly made space inside for more of my authentic self to return. This showed up in so many ways inside and out; divine flow expanding in me, resulting in ease and flow in external relations and situations that had experienced periods of slight stagnancy or confusion.
More are awakening to the external illusions underpinning the old earth reality. This is a natural process that coincides with the illusions being unmasked and processed inside the self.
As we return to a state of sacred remembrance and embodiment, we live from a place of wholeness and peace inside that directs and manifests our outer experiences. Our true state knows our inherent worth. Our true state knows and respects the sovereignty and soul assignments of others. Our true state knows love as the true reality and isn’t disturbed by the purging reactions or distortions in others. Our true state knows heaven is not a myth or a place separate from us.
As parts of our collective world adjust, we are increasingly pushed back to ourselves. We can no longer mistakenly identify and qualify ourselves through outer filters and formulas. We are not limited or determined by labels, qualifications, narratives, or opinions. We are awakening to our true nature as LOVE. Love at the highest frequency knows no boundaries or conditions where it does not exist. It is ALL.
Spring facilitates our rebirth. It is a celebration of our transcendence of death. What we have lost, or laid waste provides a fertile ground for a new aspect or level to arise. In truth it was surrendered into the greater field of potential; it lives on as a hardwired wisdom etched in our bones. We realize we are more, not less in its resignation and assimilation. We understand sacrifices can be labors of love, and sadness fuel for an abiding joy. Once we know what we know we can never turn back, but we can perceive it differently over time.
In my experience, rebirth comes in tandem with refinement. I am consistently reminded that I have a responsibility for my overall space. As I am relieved of any outlived or undigested weight I’ve carried in thought and emotion, I am still called to be vigilant in maintaining a new focus and feed. Shifting energy changes things on a fundamental level, but we can be creatures of habit. If I continue to entertain draining and conflicting concepts, stories, and relationships, I will be the one wasting energy and holding myself back.
Sometimes what is old is comfortable even when painful. Sometimes it is brought around to us again and again to address various layers of understanding in it. Sometimes it comes back as an opportunity to choose better. Sometimes it stirs up subconscious links we were not even aware are there. Whatever surfaces, it is always an opportunity to take ownership and agency in what we can offer ourselves. No matter how painful the event, we have the ability to wield our power toward a higher outcome for ourselves. Freedom is an inside job first and foremost; we must work on the etheric planes of creation in ourselves before we effectively shift the outer manifestation.
Prayers bring us to that plane, and regular practice builds a momentum over time that becomes a second skin. Our thoughts are powerful, but they are also habitual and conditional. We are influenced in many dimensions of belief and experience. To break free, it takes consistent effort and commitment to reshape some of our formative tenets of reality. It all starts will our will.
Many are too busy taking in data and stimulation to observe what is really running in their system that is fueling their creations and experiences. Most believe themselves to be a victim of their realities, assigning their life’s events to a higher deity or evil counterforce. This fractures potency and defers responsibility. This allows some to manipulate and capitalize off of the ignorant and martyrized mindsets of others. It has encouraged us to think less of ourselves and accept deplorable treatment as a consequence of humanity’s “real” nature. This then becomes evidence of life’s cruelty.
What of our higher nature? What of the beauty in a flower, the generosity of an ocean, or the fertility of a forest?
Are we not all of it? If we keep reinforcing that virtuous qualities are only for the gods, won’t we only perpetuate a world at war and suffering? Will waiting for a super savior truly offer us the best chances we have for humanity to take its leap in evolution and grace?
Forgiveness is a virtue, an act, a discipline, a frequency, a concept, and a road. The same goes for kindness, for generosity, compassion, peace, and love…. All facets of love are part of our nature, but when we’ve forgotten and been misled to believe otherwise, they must be invited, reimagined, welcomed, and attempted again and again until they are the driving force and foundation of our experiences and creations. We must dedicate ourselves as we do to other subjects of learning, career, or lifestyle commitments. I have often heard people say, “I know I should forgive but I just can’t.” This is then followed by complaining about hating their job and its requirements but having to do it anyway—knowing they shouldn’t drink but doing it anyway—knowing they are in a bad relationship but staying anyway…. The will is always there to remain the same, despite any resulting pain or shame.
As we rebirth ourselves in new potential and awareness, we must be diligent in our responsibilities to uphold a higher field of creation. We must approach ourselves as our purpose, and our mastery as our highest job and service. As we embody more of our light, we hold a higher sense of responsibility. As we perceive the effects of negative projections and reactions, we know they are not something we wish to engage in ourselves. We understand the weight of our contributions and must let go of things that disrupt the foundation we have worked hard to build. We can discern distractions without emotional charge, and simply leave them starved and unactive in our lives.
Love does not communicate in judgment. Love is unconditional. Love utilizes patterns and boundaries to create form, and changes expressions ongoing to enhance experience and perception. Any doctrine shaming, manipulating, censoring, or enforcing its will on another is not communicating love. Love underlies all form, regardless of where it lies on the spectrum of duality. The pendulum can swing in complexity away from its center, but it is still existing in the same field. Extremes on either side eventually meet in likeness. We can perceive this easier from the center, than being caught in the entanglement of a more polarized edge.
As we grow in our mastery, it is wise to remain humble in our estimation of things. A planet in an evolutionary ascension cycle, is processing the energy of many lifetimes of karmic experience and interference. As we attempt to make sense of things outside of us, the energy, and its relevance to the collective changes. With so much shifting, our best path forward is grounding our higher self in every aspect of our lives. That takes ongoing honesty, scrutiny, devotion, and ownership of our energy, no matter what outside stimulus seems to trigger us. We are reinstating our creative ability consciously, and that comes with accountability and awareness of our activity in many dimensions of existence.
Dreamers of a new world are present with what is playing out in many realities but are exclusively interested and focused on one. Our greatest contribution comes from our own divine empowerment and embodiment. From this place we are uplifting and birthing what’s possible not plausible. We are not giving our power away to a super villain, a political party, or a prophecy. World shifts are facilitated by many, but the many reflect the one. Many can deny, abuse, misuse, and refuse to accept the ONE, but that only reinforces the illusions and effects of their position in them. It does not negate the underlying truth of reality. All come home to oneness eventually, and there are many roads. We are here to master and restore our own.
As old energy moves through us, it can encourage us to be reactive and emotional. We can perceive situations through mistrusting eyes and exaggerated perceptions, triggering defensive posturing that is at first unconscious to us. As we become aware of our patterns, we learn that they simply require space and acceptance. Our loving attention does a lot to help us process things from a higher and safer vantage point. If we can understand that everyone is in their own version of reality and take it less personally, we stop waging war with any opposition and lean more into what we are trying to achieve in ourselves in the face of it. Anything disrupting our personal peace, has an opening or unrecognized culprit inside. As we deal with these aspects inside us, we align with more opportunities and choices to create peace externally.
March is bringing us into an eclipse window that is highlighting and settling some imbalances. They won’t necessarily be new to our awareness, but they are an opportunity to double down on ourselves. Can we be honest with ourselves in where we place blame, or allow ourselves to be sold short? Can we free ourselves of old obligations and power struggles that no longer serve us? Can we balance the duality inside ourselves, and upgrade any outworn toxic patterns or expressions in ourselves? Toxic relationship expressions and patterns have been surfacing for some time on earth, allowing a new connection and union to be anchored within and without. If we are only focused on battling the outer distortions of polarity in society, we are missing the opportunity to address what is trying to harmonize and heal inside.
We are most effective in contributing to the greater good from a position of wellness. From this place we cannot be bought or sold. We are not willing to compromise or villainize another for personal gain. We are not compelled to take sides and disregard the value of others because of difference in belief. We recognize the bias and limitations that come with the parameters of conditioning and sensory restriction of a physical body. We also know we can go beyond theses confines, and remain open to our role in the changing tides.
Fear is being processed out of the human experience via an ongoing surge cycle of universal love. This is highlighting its signature in all of our beliefs, narratives, systems, and creations. We are purging and rewiring our systems to create from higher octaves of love. We will face and transcend our darkness and unconscious to know our light. It is in accepting not rejecting, that we come to our truth and our ability to then choose a new response. We can no longer deny our relationship to the troubles plaguing our world. We can no longer defer the blame or responsibility to another. We have an opportunity now, to create and relate out of unity. We can be peace in the face of chaos and conflict, not by shaming or “righting” a side, but by birthing and offering something beyond it.
There is a dimension and frequency where this all comes together. As more parts connect to that possibility, the availability and pull becomes stronger for others to join. Love is the universal force of creation, but it doesn’t force compliance or recognition. Love abides and provides freedom of expression and exploration. Distortions exhaust themselves from lack of alignment and authenticity in source connection eventually. They only exist because of our ongoing attention and energetic support. As we withdraw our connection, they lose power. Everyone is waking up to their part in this, and everyone is addressing their own karmic history in relation to creation here. There is a unique timing and position unfolding for each that is best served by each focusing on their own part.
This spring ask yourself, “What world would I like to live in?” “What world would I want to leave my children?” “What can I do to contribute to that vision?”
New creations and experiences require new expressions, actions, and contributions. We are not here to fix the old or the collective; we are here to live our part authentically. All that arises from that alignment fulfills its purpose naturally. Our hearts remember our purpose, and our hearts are connected to the unified field. Through them we bridge the opportunity to build back better. We know where we’ve been, but it’s time to demonstrate what is possible now.
I hope your Easter and equinox season offer you grand opportunities and openings for rebirth and refinement! Happy rising! 💜🐣💐
A Procession of Prayer
As Mars and Venus came together recently in the cosmos, I began processing unresolved masculine pain physically. I have been healing, balancing, and upgrading the masculine and feminine in me for a long time. I wrote about the replacing of my toxic masculine prototype in my book TRUE LOVE NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIES. The beginning of the process was signaled in a dream, where I experienced many of my incarnations of struggle with men, and I held his archetypal form as he died in my arms. I understood what was unfolding, and watched my relationship with my husband heal ongoing to reflect these upgrades in me.
We continue to grow together, but the last two years have shifted my focus on the distorted feminine. She was disempowered, she was the “wounded victim,” she was angry, she was betrayed, she was jealous, and she was in competition with others while starved for nurturance. After many trials and consistent effort, I was blessed again in my dreamtime to hold two of her most painful symbolic representations as they died. These shifts cost me some relationships in physical life, but they have led to great liberation and peace inside.
These transitions are done with love, in a willingness to anchor new templates of creation and pathways of relationship on earth. Our imbalances and misunderstandings have led to great hardship. People are at odds with themselves and each other; over-complicating, over-identifying, and over-focusing on sexuality and gender, in ways that allow for mass abuse, manipulation, and trauma to be normalized.
As I deepen my relationship with myself and my ancestral inheritance, I realize how much we are carrying forward the burdens, pain, and unfinished longings of our elders. We need only recognize this in ourselves to set forth change in the lineal chain. We all carry masculine and feminine inside; our outer expression is a designed technology serving our purpose in this life. Our bodies work with us in our explorations and expansions when we recognize their capacity to do so. They are always working to achieve harmony and health, but will go according to the current settings, operating system, and environment. Change and redirection in these factors, encourages change in the form.
What we tell ourselves, what we believe, what we take in, and what we do, are all part of the settings. Our old worldview believed that we are at the whim of our genetics, but modern science is proving factors like positive or negative thinking, affects and changes them. Our world is expanding, and this will allow us to expand our archetypal and physical realm of experience and possibility.
As I began processing masculine pain, I felt HIS longing for nurturance and acceptance too. HE has suffered in the imbalance and is weary of conflict. He mourns his traditional roles being warped and misunderstood. As I cried in pain on my right breast, I was visited by a medieval knight in chainmail armor. He too was crying, and approached my chest to find a lock with a thick chain, attached to a metal breast plate covering that side of my chest. He went at the lock with force and opened it, removing the entire construct. I felt immediate relief and hugged him. I thanked him for protecting me all those years. I relieved him from his post and sent him to my heart for respite. He was truly tired of war and the vigilance and dissonance it required. I realized how much we relied upon the masculine to fulfill these roles, and then attacked them for the consequential effects that evidenced in them over time.
After that ceremony I noticed new sensations and feeling adjusting in both breasts as a result. My right back was moving tension, my breasts and nipples tender and sore. What we do intentionally in spirit affects our physical manifestation. If you work with your body this way, you can experience this for yourself. I also noticed a cramp in my left ovary that surfaced. When I connected to it, it said it was a STICKING POINT in my female line. There is a feminine energy holding itself back from the masculine, wanting HIS acknowledgment and experience of HER pain. It was not quite revenge; they spoke that they want HIM to “get it.” There is a mistrust because of feelings of violation. I surrendered my part in the ceremony, but it remained a little sore. I was told to enfold it in love and allow that to create safety and nurturance over time. The last thing I want to do is push or force aspects that have already been hurt that way. I speak lovingly to them, and am respectful of their timing and experiences. The energy shifted in two days.
That night my dreams took me to many underlying trapped feelings that were moving out. I was guided to another prayer ceremony when I woke. I used to do them as part of my daily practice at home, at my favorite places in nature, and in all the many of the places I visited. They always grounded me in joy and optimism that I was able to then share. There is a part of every one of us that loves acts of devotion. We see this played out in so many ways. Life is spirit, and everything is spiritual and sacred; we do not need to limit devotion to religion. We were trained to see the separation, which added to our perceived loss of spiritual connection and magic in our daily operations.
Prayer is our love language with creation. It is an interfacing with our universe, our source, our reality, and ourselves in many dimensions and expressions. There is a part of us united to all. We are no stranger to love or its alchemical forces. When we set forth an intention, an inquiry, or a possibility, we are always met with a response. We will see it as much as we are open to receiving it. Prayer is an act of love and devotion. My meditative walks are prayers; my prayer ceremonies are changing and fluid. I may speak, dance, sing, and make offerings; I may do them in a natural setting on the move. I allow other benevolent energies to join me in their offerings. Life is full of allies and expressions ready to help. What they can do and how they help is as diverse as what we see in form here.
In the ceremony with the knight, Eagle came too. He was flying high and assisting me in the implementation of higher thought forms and templates. He reminds me not to get entangled in the emotional dross that’s purging and dying. I left the ceremony to walk on the lakefront and an eagle showed up there to fly overhead. I later received confirmation from two friends that I prayed for, that he had visited them. One sent me an eagle meme she came across that inspired and validated what she was going through. Another had an eagle prince in a dream that helped her resolve an old attachment issue she struggled to make sense of prior. Eagle made his rounds further; I have no doubt. We can’t always see the total effect of the ripples we send out, but the act is most beneficial when not attached to a specific outcome. Our souls are anchored in trust, and as we deepen our devotion, we are too.
The next prayer portal brought in new energies and emissaries. One was an ancestor from India. He brought through a transmission to clear the perversions of suffering in devotion. This distortion has tainted all faiths, has infiltrated personal relationships, and has encouraged an addiction and worship of suffering that is falsely celebrated as honor. He gave me the expression “DEPRIVATION IS ILLUMINATION,” and if you think on this, you can see how this is a thread that has been woven into many earth tapestries of belief, religious, and authoritative systems.
The subversion of the feminine in these systems is part of this concept, as is the worship of an enlightened one, a guru, a pope, etc, where followers are encouraged to sacrifice and donate their energy to uplift another or receive favor. Rejection of the material, believing God can only come to those in a position of extreme humility, or the toxic relationship where one suffers for another believing it is how they prove their love, are a few examples. We have created badges of suffering to flex in the era of virtue signaling. If we open our eyes to this core distorted belief, we can see its offspring in many things. Ask yourself, how does this energy or idea land in you? Are you comfortable in owning your divine birthright or power? Is there a part of you that believes you can’t have too much, be too much, or that you must prove yourself to receive divine love? These things are subtle until you get beneath the surface and follow the thread. Talk to yourself and your world, and let prayer help you highlight your threads.
Suffering is a part of life, to deny its existence is delusional. As we have evolved on earth through the experience of separation and duality, we have accrued many misunderstandings and struggles that got compounded and distorted further over time. We have forgotten who we are, but that does not change the true nature of who we are. Our pockets of amnesia, trials, and fears are the energies we must face and traverse through to access our truth.
Our suffering can show us a path to inner liberation, but it is not a mandatory lifestyle to earn wings to heaven. My ancestor made it clear that humanity has gotten away from wisdom into the worship of struggle and violence as noble. This has allowed most to grow further from the higher frequencies of light and remembrance. Whatever it looks like on the surface, love is the true nature of life. To seek this part of yourself, you can simply choose love. You can shine love into your suffering without loving or inflating suffering as a badge of honor. You are more than your suffering and not defined by any physical labels, experiences, or limitations.
I pulled a few cards for my prayer altar as guided: one for the FEMININE, one for the MASCULINE, with a shared union card from the Magical Dimensions Oracle Deck. The card of union was DESTINY. It relates to living our authentic purpose and is associated with a forest rose ray of light.
As I brought my prayer into physical exercise at HOTWORX, I was visited by a beautiful pink fairy bestowing a mauve pink light. I felt it enter my root energy center at my bottom while I was seated. I then experienced a variety of wildflowers rise, grow, and bloom out of that center up through my entire body. At my heart, was a rose in bloom. As this was unfolding, I was filled with the natural bliss and peace of existence. There is an elemental joy in being alive; an inherent joy that celebrates and adores creation.
Devotion is a natural state. I was filled with a deep knowing that we are our purpose. When we live authentically, everything we do is fulfilling our destiny. When we love something, it may inspire us to sacrifice something in the spirit of giving, but true giving and sacrifice is an offering of love not suffering. True giving is from a flowing well, not an obligation of limitation or reciprocation.
Unconditional love is what connects us all. When we share our flow with another, we are more not less. Devotional practices and attitudes must be updated to reflect our true heritage and energetic existence. The beautiful prayer transmissions reminded me of how powerful it is to be on the receiving end of love. It inspired me to ask, what is possible if everyone engaged daily in a devotional practice with the earth? A true loving exchange, not a practice from the place of an empty well in need of salvation or redemption, but more of a conversation between two lovers, or a bee’s revel in a flower. What if we all offer adoration and devotion to the earth herself, via our immediate landscapes? What if we love her as a sovereign and sentient being, not from a position of worry or fear, scarcity, or superiority? What if we relate to her instead, in the spirit of acknowledgement and gratitude. We are not here to dominate and control nature, we are in an interdependent loving relationship and kinship.
As if in response to that sentiment, my ceremony this morning followed that thread. It started with an emotional full moon release of sorrow. As I opened ceremony, I was brought to address the wound of rejection. As I sang prayers of forgiveness and peace, I had a new visitor. It is common for me to sit with the Earth as a woman during my meditative journeys. She is always with me, sometimes showing up in various phases of her growth and changes.
Today as she and I were singing, we were joined by her beloved masculine aspect FATHER EARTH. I was ecstatic! This has never happened, even though I am fully aware of addressing the duality in all things on earth. His arrival brought many tears of gratitude and a feeling of wholeness. I had dreamt last week of preparing my home for a wedding. I saw myself create an altar, and the dawning arrived that a sacred marriage is underway. He landed with a heat in the body and a passion to be present. I was guided to surrender and clear old collective narratives about the earth and her enslavement. He confirmed what she has always told me prior; the earth is a sentient sovereign being in a cycle of growth and transformation. She does not need our pity, fear, guilt, or shame. She wants love, respect, and allies that support her process. We are rising together. Our mastery of ourselves and our energy contribution, is a great service to her. Right action naturally follows right alignment. As the frequency of love rises on earth, restoration is an organic outcome. We are vessels of this change, so our commitment to divine alignment and embodiment is what helps facilitate this on earth. We are not separate.
My exchanges with earth and nature have been joyous and mutualistic on my path of love. In light of the intensity of the times, I am re-engaging in my daily offerings of formal ceremony and prayer. I don’t need anything. I don’t want anything. I am simply a lover and admirer of life in all its expressions. I know I am here to walk with love, and it is my sincerest hope that love and peace become the reality in which we all live on earth. There are many paths of wisdom and expressions of devotion. I invite you to celebrate yours, and to offer it to everything you meet. Share it with the passions closest to your heart. Let it light up your part of the tapestry here on earth.
Imagine what’s possible when Earth and her children create and live from a place of wholeness. We can give and live from that dream now. Let your vessel be a house of joy. Let yourself explore. Let what delights you change. Let it move. Let it grow. Then let it go. Release it into your world and watch it transform as you do. Love is our ultimate destiny, and we are closing in on the illusory gap.
Share your heart, share your voice, share your joy, share your dreams! We are called to create change, not reinforce same I love you 🌹🕊
Happy Full Moon in Virgo! 🌝💙
The Dawning of Aquarius
A flow state of creation and being is more accessible now on earth. Physical upgrades force many to slow down, disrupting reliance on former schedules, activities, and old ways of attempting to seek security inside via controlling outer circumstances. We are continuously being brought back to ourselves; where selfcare is not a prioritized practice, it becomes a necessity.
If we still tell ourselves we are victims of our environment, we experience these physical episodes as illness, something wrong, or the product of something we accept as a scapegoat, i.e. leaked virus, climate crisis, bad genetics, toxic food industry, AI interference, satanic influence, fill in the blank with the current dystopian trend. We all have a rabbit hole, but as we go deeper into it, we will always find ourselves at the other end. You will believe and perceive according to the story you choose, what is truly your story?
Humanity and all life on earth are in a cauldron of expansion. The heat, the storms, the reckoning, and revolution are necessary to transcend the previous confines. As a collective we are called to remember our responsibility as co-creators and contributors to our life on earth. As individuals we can only take our proper place when we do this for ourselves. This means we must be diligent in our commitment to our freedom, our values, and our alignment. Nature always reminds me of its sovereignty and majesty when we communicate; we need only reclaim ours.
The universe and ALL its elements are part of this shift. There is no separation. When we surrender to the higher design and implementation unfolding and allow our higher faculties to come online to guide us, we will not be disrupted by any lower fear narrative playing out. We instead, join the energy where the solution lies. We live, choose, and act from this aligned position, connecting to others creating new openings and outcomes. We trust in the love sustaining all; allowing all expressions to play their part and grow according to their perfect process and timing. We know the Earth has her agency and evolution, one that we are not here to dominate or harness.
What can we truly offer her but the best version of ourselves? In the age of transparency and unlimited information, we are encouraged to seek truth and foundations that support where we want to go. This requires us to take personal inventory. We all inherit fears, grievances, wounds, prejudices, and dispositions that are limiting, restrictive, and harmful to ourselves and others. For me, I often receive deeper layers of these influences in my dreams.
This week I experienced myself in scenarios of lies and betrayal, of abuse and neglect, and of conflict and persecution. I found some of the characters were flat, stereotypical representations of male and female. I was able to see where gender roles were clearly assigned to certain types of problems. Men were typically the aggressors, for example. I am led through symbolic scenarios in my dreams and then physical reality often, to help me understand what is shifting in me, my body, my relationships, my lineages, and in the collective.
The last two days illustrated this perfectly. I woke yesterday from a dream where I was in a stressful situation. A party I attended was not what I thought it would be, and my partner was engaging in things that were hurtful and neglectful of me. I was afraid and going along despite what I wanted. I could feel emotions and energies in my heart stirred up as I came out of it, and realized it was layered with some of my personal experiences, but it was also symbolic of energies experienced by many women in my family. My partner was a generic representation and projection of MAN. He was the perceived villain in many women’s stories, losing his heart, his humanity, and his individuality as time went on. Many women stopped seeing him, and only saw what they feared and felt in the pain and expectations inherited. I had unconsciously played this out too for years, and it was because of my direct experience of it that I was able to shift its energy in a larger way. Our healing is like ripples in an ocean, or as it is sometimes shown to me, a lightning running through a quantum web or tree.
I spoke intentions and engaged in an energetic clearing and resolution. I then went to physical exercise and implementation. I felt a lightness ensue after, but as evening rolled around the fire alarms went off in my house without provocation. I thoroughly checked all areas of my home and there was no evidence of fire or gas. I sensed the alarm that was the issue, and when I pressed the button, it silenced all temporarily. I did this multiple times with no lasting success for half an hour. I then started to feel my nervous system get amped and anxious. I knew there wasn’t a problem, but my body was still responding to the stimulus. I decided I would get help and called the fire dept to make sure there was nothing wrong. They discovered an issue with the same alarm I was focusing on and dismantled it.
I went to bed exhausted, stepping into more of my internal alarm system in dreams. This time it wasn’t about a partner. I was brought to a school ground that I was researching for my children. In my exploration, I encountered a building where young children and animals were being housed. They were left without adult supervision, fending for themselves. I was upset and worried for them, but when staff came in, I was in trouble for being in an unapproved area. I saw school staff enter and coral the children into uniforms, order, and an organized formation to leave the building. The children had an empty look, and I wondered what happened there to achieve a submission like that with such young children.
I then set off through a swampy landscape with baby hippos and was confronted by a young man. He kept arguing and challenging me, ignoring my requests that he leave. After being pursued for a time, I had enough and physically pushed him away. When I made it to the school office, that man was there and had reported me. There was a panel of men waiting and accusing me. I spoke my truth, but they were not open to my side, or understanding of my situation. I woke with feelings of frustration, in anticipation of judgment and punishment. I felt deeply that the system was set up for me to fail, and that justice was unattainable.
I again went to my healing practices to shift these energies and templates inside me. I knew a significant portion of my defense and protection mechanisms were surfacing for me to surrender them. If I am to have a new experience in my relationships, like deeper trust, intimacy, passion, and connection, then I must remove the outdated filters and barriers in the way. These show up physically in me as fight or flight responses to new circumstances, blocks to feeling or vulnerability, and even hard tissue in my breast. As I address the energetic roots, I feel the openness, sensitivity, and softness more in the physical. I unlocked much in these 2 nights, and as I embody more of myself, I naturally feel safer in all facets and settings of life.
As we reclaim parts of ourselves that were rejected, hurt, lost, or abandoned in love, we are naturally uplifted and protected by our rise in frequency and light quotient. I find that healing and reclaiming parts of me in lower frequency experiences, correlate to restoring higher dimensional aspects of me as well. As I cried to release trapped energy that was tied to these last dream sequences, I was comforted by a star mother of an indigo blue light. She was robed with the star-studded darkness of space itself. She placed her luminous hand on my heart to help my process. I felt intense love in our connection, and awareness that she is me in another realm of experience. I have been receiving tingling adjustments in my body since she has come on board, and I know myself to be in a new configuration. When we allow our encounters and assistance to be real, instead of trying to figure it out in our minds, we have a smoother journey.
We are then creating and perceiving from a higher vibration, attracting healthier versions or reflections of the changes we make. Love is calling us to ground new pathways of possibility in unity. As we release others from being the validation or villain in our stories, we connect to those that compliment us. We take ownership of ourselves instead of expecting others to correct or complete us. The healthy in “us” supports and encourages the healthy in all, and higher opportunities, actions, and creations naturally arise from this space of elevated collaboration.
As we approach the first new moon in Aquarius, what are we envisioning for ourselves, our families, our communities, our planet, and our galactic connection? Can we see ourselves in the bigger picture? Can we trust our place in the universe, understanding that changes in the sun, lead to changes on earth, leading to changes in all of life on earth? Can we see what is breaking down, is allowing a break through?
What do we know about change? Haven’t we consistently seen transformation being facilitated by elements like heat and light, sometimes intensely and destructively to achieve something new? We are no stranger to life’s cycles and processes, no stranger to death as a transitional agent. Love knows where it seeks to expand, where it seeks to be empowered, and where it thrives in united intention and effort. What will you facilitate for love in the age of Aquarius? We are dropping the baggage that weighs our rocket ship down and embracing our divine technology as a path forward.
On this new moon, aim higher. It is time to reach for and reconvene with the stars. You are more than you realize!
Happy New Moon in Aquarius 🦋🌚🌹
Living the Dream 2024
This holiday season provided me with periods of intense physical transmutation, requiring rest and surrender. I slowed down and simplified when prompted, and found my moments filled with a deep appreciation and gratitude for what has remained loving and supportive in my life. The new year still felt like it occurred in a holding pen of sorts. I was sloughing off layers of past emotional debris, while gaining increasing clarity on my position and foundation in a higher frequency field.
As I doubled down on my commitment and worked to clear things on all levels, I received small reminders and openings to take steps toward my upgraded vision. Death and elimination are part of creation. We are often called to make room in ourselves and our space to allow for new things to blossom. Pruning is part of life; not all thoughts, behaviors, beliefs, relationships, and choices support our destiny for this lifetime.
As the surges of galactic light continue to transmute the heaviness on the planet, we become more aware of our existence in multiple levels and dimensions of consciousness. Consequently, we then become more effective in balancing and shaping our experiences and creations. We become less attached to fixed thought forms, and more present with our well-being on all fronts: mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. We are energy in form, attracting our experiences in likeness; therefore, we learn to become more selective of the energies we entertain, consume, and align.
The next phase of evolution requires humanity to assume its proper place in the unified field of love. Humanity will expand beyond its perceived limitations of separation, lack, and domination, to restore its kinship and connection to the unlimited source of life in all its expressions. Where we close off from love and each other, we close off from solutions existing at a higher resonance of wellness and wholeness. We understand that the outcome and state of something, is dependent on the success, health, and integrity of all its elements.
To get there, we must shed our blocks, lies, fears, defenses, and barriers to oneness. This occurs both inside of us, and collectively in all group consciousness fields of organization and identification. In addressing these thresholds, we don’t have to diminish or negate their validity. Love is enhanced and enriched by its various expressions, not diluted or divided in truth—EVER.
The surface chaos we see on the world stage is evidence of all past stories, distortions, and traumas being cleared from our systems. What appears to be a resurgence is the necessary processing of past experiences that allows for a higher understanding and perspective to be achieved. Clarity comes from energetically releasing lower, denser mental and emotional residue. It’s a physical process, and often a confusing and frustrating one. Everyone is in a unique position, which is why some people cannot assimilate information that is obvious to others. We relate according to our position of perception, and level of divine embodiment. As we dispel our inner shadows in the presence of our light, we are unencumbered by the same shadows present in others. We allow them the freedom and right to enact their own resolution and timing, knowing we are not victimized in any way by their position unless we give our power to them.
If we consciously face and address our own fears and defense mechanisms, we easily recognize them in others and learn to take people’s reactions less personally. We understand our position of power is always in our personal landscape. Mastering our inner nature is a fulltime job. We are only tasked with assuming our power responsibly and creatively. We are not here to force change on others, in judgment or blame. Most in opposition to us, will be unable to perceive us through their blocks and opinions. Our power is recognizing and mastering our own.
We all have inherited prejudices and preferences; thoughts via ideas, judgments, and beliefs create patterns and frameworks for creation to take shape. Structures are necessary, but they are also malleable. Everything is subject to change and in a constant state of expansion and contraction ongoing.
As expressions of source energy, we are imbued with inherent gifts and magic. If we are not open to this truth, and we reinforce beliefs that degrade our position, we will not connect to the potential.
What do you know to be true? Your whole life’s circumstances are reflecting that back to you. Can you perceive that we are running many realities and frequencies on earth? Are you entraining your energy to someone else’s version of reality? We have been conditioned to do this…. To believe there is one way that is right to live, one religion that is right to give credence to, one version of history that is to be validated by the “winner” or arbitrator of the most resources. How much power are you giving away to support these claims? How much truth are you not able to see in others because of these settings? How much peace do you forfeit?
As a collective we are in the process of birthing a new reality. Instead of identifying with our baser nature, and reinforcing our identities through old grievances, survival competition, and hierarchal differences, we are invited to create a new story. We are urged to connect to the higher reality in LOVE where we are already together. We are encouraged to be forgiving of our missteps and blind spots, recognizing they were part of our human experience in ignorance and lower frequency subjugation. We are not who we thought we were; we have been convinced of our unworthiness for so long, that we don’t even question it.
It takes time to detox the distortions out of our system. We don’t feel safe at first. Our authority structures use this to maintain our compliance. Violence and worst-case scenarios are streaming through every platform. They need us to believe and participate energetically to maintain it. Are you interested in repeating history, or are you here to innovate a higher possibility?
New eras rely on visionaries willing to see beyond the current situation. We are not here to fix yesterday’s problems; as new age space holders, we are here to implement new ways of being that lie beyond the current divisive constraints of the problem. As divine emissaries of light, we don’t need to figure it all out with our minds. We have faith in the design and current of divine flow. We embody the higher potentiality and radiate it. We allow our energy to attract and organize the physical circumstances appropriate for our part. We do not create by controlling or forcing. We manage our energy and trust it to attract accordingly. Love is naturally intelligent and self-organizing. We are often simply surrendering our dependency on our minds, and how we think things should happen or be. This allows our results to bypass the mental limitations we’ve stored from past experiences, manifesting a new outcome.
If we want to establish peace, then we prioritize peace in ourselves first. We won’t create peace while we blame, shame, or wage war with anyone, including ourselves. We won’t promote peace successfully, while we worship a vengeful god that persecutes, judges, and loves conditionally. If we truly want to improve the quality of life for all on the planet, we will retire our allegiance to harmful doctrine and practices. We will focus our efforts on the world we know is possible in our hearts, and LIVE it. Visionaries are not here to validate what worked before; they are here to bring us where we haven’t been.
We have the technology to improve the quality of all life, we just haven’t fully committed to aligning to the LOVE that exists beyond all differences. Until we love ourselves unconditionally and bring peace to the paradoxical parts inside ourselves with radical honesty and forgiveness, we will continue to deny the sanctity of some. If we can’t accept our own worth and offer ourselves the patience and love necessary to grow into a new version of ourselves, we won’t be able to offer it to others. Where we hold ourselves back in judgment and intolerance, we remain chained.
As a new year and new karmic cycle came in, I have been reminded to focus exclusively on what I want to experience in my life. The past is gone. I am guided to take ownership and responsibility for my creation; to check in on all levels of my system ensuring they are in balance and harmony. All levels must be in alignment and integrity with who I authentically am and my purpose. On a basic level my purpose is my wellbeing. I do not have to do anything to be loved or valued. I am love. As love, I check in on the health of my creations and experiences:
Are the thoughts and stories I am energizing, positive to my health and highest good? Positive to the earth and my direct surroundings?
Am I emotionally aware and intelligent? Do I allow my emotions to flow? Do they enrich my life and my relationships, or do they rule and ruin my mood in a volatile fashion? Do I mind my vibration? Protecting my peace and choosing to cultivate the feelings I wish to experience?
Do I take care of my body? Do I respect its needs or override them to my detriment?
Am I living a spirit-led life? Am I creating and engaging in things that are meaningful, complimentary, and productive to my spirit? Am I connecting to surface or soul? Soul will always steer me from things that harm me in any way, that don’t respect my time or value. I know that prioritizing soul, naturally honors the other parts of me securing me in an earthly existence. Spirit LOVES me unconditionally and will ask me to move beyond my limits, but LOVE will never ask me to compromise myself in harmful sacrifices or punishments.
I am assured I can trust the foundation I have rebuilt through love. I am not alone, and I am always assisted in my guided endeavors. As I have increasingly embodied more of my TRUE LOVE, I am no longer looking to create reactively according to outer circumstances. I set the tone, and I seek my guidance from within. My path may not be understood or approved by everyone, but it is for me to live. I could not have gotten here following any outside directives. I know what is for me is mine, and in no way impedes or diminishes what is good for another. I have come to love and value myself authentically and unapologetically; and I sincerely hope to see everyone do this for themselves in their own way. It is joy to know yourself and live your purpose. As I cultivate this joy, I radiate and encounter it everywhere I go.
It is part of my focus for 2024, to awaken and inspire more love in all levels of life on earth. As our past is cleared from our cellular memory, may we remember ourselves as the LOVE in which all form resides, and all dreams are made possible. May we LIVE the dream we wish to see manifest in the world. I wish you a restorative and magical new year!
I would love to hear about your holiday experience. Are you living your dream? What is your focus for the new karmic cycle? What are you willing to create and facilitate in 2024 as LOVE?
A Procession of Peace
November felt like a field of peace that landed to hold space for a funeral procession. October’s death march (detailed in last month’s blog) allowed for the peace to arrive, but in November, anything lingering in feeling or thought that was attached to my past aspects moved out in accordance. My dreams were vivid and active, bringing me to close out subconscious files that allowed more of my energy to shift to the present.
As I explored various dimensions of consciousness, I realized how much we exist in many “places” at once; I also realized how incorrect it is to assume our goal or ascended outcome is a place at all. It has been useful in manipulating and subjugating humanity, to encourage the idea that heaven and hell are places set apart from earth. This has imprinted beliefs that there are things we can do to go or avoid going there. That focus betrays our senses. We are often living in hellish frequency experiences, ever looking to avoid something worse.
Our beliefs, and avoidance in feeling the truth of our realities, help ensure that we will perpetually create the same. Heaven, after all, is something we are taught we must physically die to achieve any way. Instead, we argue over ways for people to get there, dehumanizing and invalidating other life forms that don’t support our version of ‘truth.” It is only when we are forced to fully feel the weight of our truth and recognize its costs in our own lives that we stop seeking a place. We see that we are only running from ourselves and our most vulnerable parts. These parts are innocent; they are simply wanting to be brought home, separated by walls of feeling, fearfully made to appear larger in size over time.
It is hard to imagine that all the troubles in the world exist in a unified field of peace. The illusion and complexity rampant in physical separation feels like a prison. It is only when we extract our energy and attention from the sources of distortion and deception in our lives, and redirect it to what truly uplifts, resonates, and energizes us that we can perceive the game of entrapment being played. When our focus and fight seek only to match our so-called opponent, we remain entangled and embroiled in the problem.
As PEACE, we can hold space for all our contradictions inside and out. We entertain contradictions in thought and action all the time. We ignore them in our belief and authority structures to maintain our status quo. We believe in them out of fear. We exhibit them as they are convenient to us in getting what we want. We worship them in others where we confer power or responsibility. We deny them in ourselves and hide them from others when we seek righteousness. We call it out in others when its advantageous. All the while PEACE smiles, knowing all as simply the illusions of a solitary argument. There is one love, in various dimensions, vibrations, frequencies, degrees, and expressions—all valuable, all part of a grander design and operation.
Living in the US, we are reminded of gratitude in November. The holiday season is kicked off, which is triggering for many due to any unresolved or challenging circumstances of family or economy. This year, I was able to be more present. I have simplified my holidays over the last few years to start new traditions that honor quality time and peace with my immediate family. Slowing things down helped me experience things on a deeper level. November’s funeral procession helped me to observe and detach from old judgments and obligations that interfered with the meaningful connections that are truly active and supportive in my life.
In death’s transformation and procession, I continued to refine and realign my energy. I saw this in the dream space as rooms getting cleared out, bookshelves and cabinet drawers emptied. I took the trash out and cleaned the floors in one sequence. I also observed empty fish tanks. I observed the water removed from ones that were no longer viable, containing dried up or dead plants and creatures. The water was then rerouted to a tank that was still active, and I witnessed it come back to a more vivid color and bustle. I understood that I had old attachments that I was sending energy to that was long dead and gone. The past runs in our minds far longer than it exists. We get caught up in animating ghosts and fantastical projections of events and others, often to avoid accepting how we feel in the present. This distraction fractures our potency and integrity in accomplishing the things we set out to experience. Many of the files of information stored in our system are handed down through the bloodlines and maintained subconsciously, influencing us in ways we seldom recognize or question. We are vast, multidimensional beings of creative expression and experience. We are being encouraged to embody more of our authentic energy and to grow in new directions that are more compatible and harmonious with us. We are making space for new opportunities and conscious choices to help us get there.
On the final day of the funeral procession, I visited my favorite local spot in nature, and was held in so much love and connection. I am always amazed at the selflessness of the earth. I was overcome with gratitude to be received this way, and to witness more upgrades at the park.
The holidays brought a little heaviness from changes in my family, but the land reminded me that our suffering often comes from our pre-conceived notions and expectations of things. We have ideal standards and obligations handed down that are seldom reflective of our realities, and we often judge ourselves in the ways they fail to comply. The spirit of the land reminded me of how much I am loved, and of how my regular visits and energy shared with the park, added to the beauty continuing to unfold now. Love is a mutually beneficial exchange. In the spot that I prayed weekly for over a year, is now a beautiful bench dedicated with the purpose “Share a message of Kindness.”
I cried on that bench overwhelmed with joy for having been a part of its journey. That land held me through my darkest times, and to see new love offerings bloom there as they are unfolding in my own life, made my heart sing. I felt a tremendous outpour of love from our connection, my cup overfilled and overflowing. I was then encouraged to surrender the old attachments, projections, and expectations into the lake to be recycled. I could replenish myself with all the love I needed there.
LOVE is all around us, but if we are limiting ourselves to only receiving it from certain places, and those places fail to meet our needs due to their own shortsightedness, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and deprivation. We simply need to open our hearts, our circles, our horizons…
In November’s completion, I was taken last night to retrieve things/energy I had in another’s home. I was also shown an imbalanced pattern or tendency I had in that relationship so I could close it out for good. When we close out toxic patterns in ourselves, it can end the relationships that are not able or willing to relate in a new way. Sometimes, however, it can give another the awareness needed to change it in themselves. We can call our light back from any places of fragmentation and know that our wholeness is naturally loving and inclusive without having to prove we are loved, lovable, or valuable. It is not selfish or unkind to do so. If one side of a relationship suffers to maintain the connection, it is not truly loving for either.
I am truly grateful for the parade of the past that I’ve hosted this month. In taking an honest and accepting ownership of it, I was able to release so much shame and guilt for my “story.” I was also guided at the end of October to surrender all attachments to my book. I was given a choice point to go to an event to promote it, or to attend a new opening in support of the next phase I was shown. I chose the opening.
TRUE LOVE NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIES is only a small part of my story. It’s a true story, and it was written and offered in so much love, but it is not the totality of who I am or where I am now. I release it to have its own journey, without expecting it to be or validate me in any way. It was always about the journey, and I was healed so much in the telling and producing of it for myself.
It is truly joyful to know yourself—to be at peace with who and where you are in the moment. It is from that space that peace is realized. You do not have to chase it or wait for it to show up externally. It won’t until it is truly encountered in you. Peace does not need to be right or need any one to conform to its story or ideals. Peace knows that all conflicts and paradoxes are reclaimed into unity eventually. It is never too late to begin, and it is a journey that always starts within. I pray you find your origin in PEACE this holiday season, and that you will prioritize it for yourself, your life, your family, your community, your country, your continent, your world, your universe….
Peace be with you 🕊
Death Becomes Her
Scorpio season came in with a transformative and beautiful bang for me. The whole month of October has presented challenges, but all with opportunities to dig deeper and excavate treasure.
I started with a visit to my daughter’s college campus in TN. It was beautiful weather and so good to be together. Her transition has brought up a lot in me. As my parenting roles change with each consecutive child, parts of me undergo a death process. I lose identities and connections to things that really consumed my focus and time. As space is created, there is emptiness and a grief in knowing that parts of my life that I loved so much are over. I also get to see new aspects of myself that are grasping or attached in ways that I know are needing adjustment. Children need freedom to truly explore themselves and what they are here to do. As I observe myself and all that I am still unraveling in influences and conditions I was imprinted with in childhood, I realize how important it is to let my children be.
As I shift out of the pervasive setting of fear, I realize how much I impacted them unintentionally with my own negative perceptions and experiences of the world. This is done without conscious intent. This is done without words. As I shift ancestral influences in me, I realize how much we are impressed with energies from our bloodlines. This is especially true for our mother’s line. We are formed inside them and connected to their auric field strongly for the first incarnation cycle. The wisdom and power of mother is returning to its proper place on earth, and as we restore this in ourselves and families, it will literally change and elevate the frequency of life here.
As I have raised and loved my children at various stages, it has helped nourish the child in me that longed for such things. I think one of the reasons people struggle with the proverbial “empty nest” as their children leave, is the time it leaves for them to spend with themselves. They may feel that their primary sources of love and joy are gone, but in truth it is a time to offer these things to themselves. We are not taught this, so it seems uncomfortable at first. The grief is deeper than the loss or rite of passage, it is a death that is a necessary function of life, birth, rebirth, and creation itself. We get to explore new aspects of ourselves, and see where we are holding on to fears and stereotypes about these phases that can be shifted to live more peacefully and authentically.
I had children young so I always felt like I was growing up with them in a way. I am so grateful for the time I have with them and for their patience with me as I stumbled through life. All of the pressures I placed on myself to attain or be something of value, didn’t really matter. There is love in all of it that has sustained.
I came back from TN to support a family ,member in the hospital. This was to correct something that resulted from an earlier emergency. It was a reinstatement of sorts, allowing for a renewed sense of gratitude for what remains after a period of loss and brush with death delivered a new world view. Death always allows for a new opening or beginning. What we struggle to let go of, is often a relief after we overcome the fear of losing it. I was blessed to be visited by a friend that had eclipse glasses while there, so I was able to see the solar fire eclipse. I marveled at the many faces of the sun during the event, and how bright and strong the sun light is even while eclipsed. That sentiment stays with me as darkness and discord are stirred up in the world. I know the light does not have to fight, it only shines and absorbs the shadow in its wake.
Humanity will rise to transcend its subjugation to polarity and separation. The projected poisons must surface to be recognized in resonance and reflection. We continue to see divisive extremes in race, politics, religion, wealth and other seemingly opposite poles, behaving more in likeness and similarity. They are matching in energetic resonance, and not actually as different as the surface stories proclaim. Hate is hate, violence is violence, blame is blame, and the accuser is often proven guilty of that which is accused. In the limited understanding and experience of separation, people project their own issues and emotions onto others. They blame others for what they refuse to see in themselves. This is especially true in times of discomfort and misfortune. As more people recognize that this happens in themselves and their relationships, they will free themselves from the shackles of victimization all together. Freedom starts from the inside out.
We are dying to old forms, ideas, constructs, beliefs, identities, and all their restrictive bindings. This causes major shifts in the frameworks that they create, inhabit, and reinforce. When we first see the deception and distortion in longstanding systems and beliefs, we are affected in proportion to the degree we have personal investment. If they are a large part of our identity and focus, we may be in shock and loss as they falter in decline. Some will be in denial because of this, and double down with a sinking or exploding ship. We all have paths of growth and choice here, perfect for our soul evolution and purpose. Our best bet is on ourselves; what is dying, what is opening, and what is being reborn in our self?
For me the resolutions have been very active in the dream realm. I have been a willing participant in addressing any armor or defensiveness I find in myself that created distortion or distance in my relationships or perceptions of others. When I first encountered my inner fortress and default protection setting, I was in shock. I was putting myself in new uncomfortable situations of vulnerability that set them off. It took time to develop them, and it has taken patience and practice to feel safe in relinquishing them. Some are unconscious and from other dimensional incarnations. They arise as we are ready to process them.
In a recent dream I was in another earth incarnation where I was murdered. I lived through the event in a way that allowed me to process and understand the residual effects of the trauma affecting me here. I was still holding shock, betrayal, devastation, and grief. I was murdered with my best friend and her small child. I had begged and bartered myself to spare her life to no avail. When I awoke, I created a space for myself to feel what was ready to move and be acknowledged. There were parts of me angry at myself for my helplessness and ineffectiveness, and at God for creating this complexity. I understood how this generated an overall feeling of mistrust toward others, an ongoing backdrop of danger and sorrow. I also hardened myself to prevent trusting or connecting too deeply because of the pain of loss. This really doesn’t stop us from feeling or suffering, it just imprisons us and causes feelings of isolation and segregation. When I was younger I numbed myself with alcohol to be social, but I was locked in armor as long as I can remember. I knew I was not normal and believed myself to be defective, but until I met these inner barriers I didn’t fully understand the extent.
I additionally was gifted in dreamtime with symbolic representations of other distorted beliefs I was holding on to in my subconscious. When we cannot access them consciously, we are left breadcrumbs. I was first alerted by my body. My digestive system slowed down to a miserable impasse. I was constipated for days. I knew there was something I was not digesting; something I was needing to let go of that was blocking flow and harmony. I was guided to slow down, to focus and nurture myself. As I began inquiry, I received. I was still holding fears of betrayal and abandonment. I was holding unprocessed anger and shame from my story. This was shown to me so I could address and process the energy, and then I could choose to move forward with a new understanding and willingness. We process major traumas over time cyclically, with each round having less disruption and charge when we are willing to let it go. As I took the time to prioritize my body and what it was telling me, I was relieved of the heaviness in the way. As I address my body as an intelligent vessel of awareness and technology, I am continuously amazed at its ability to communicate, cooperate, and mutate in response.
Things came to a magnificent culmination as soon as Scorpio season started. I was guided to do a reiki prayer ceremony for myself. I was to focus my attention and efforts on self love. I was guided to start by cleansing all roots and forms of self abuse. I then initiated the energy transmission and was taken to a clearing in a fairytale-looking wooded area. In the center I saw my current form in a glass coffin, similar to the scene in Snow White. Archangel Michael’s sword was lying along the length of my body on top of the glass. I appeared dead, and there was a long procession of all of my former selves in this life. They were arranged in line according to age, going back in time to conception. By my side, was my winged light self holding my hand and making adjustments, as each aspect of self came to pay love and respect before they merged into my resting form. It was attended by many other guides and beings, but the event pertained to all versions of myself.
I felt so loved and witnessed; I additionally felt love for every version of me in time. I made peace with myself and was able to finally lay rest to humiliations, judgments, and grudges held. After all aspects were called home, I watched my light self adjust the technology of my form before she too merged with it. I then saw myself rise new, to be welcomed by my attending team of light and support. It was a celebration of death and life, for nothing is truly lost but is reclaimed and part of the new shape moving forward. I was guided to then walk out into the world, and felt awkward in the body as I grounded into it. I was in joy and gratitude for what was accessed in death. My body continued to integrate and accommodate the upgrades in light through the night.
Death continues to be a source of awe and transformation in my process. When I lost my brother in 2014, I was facing some of the darkest parts of myself that encouraged me to consider it as a possible relief. At that time, I perceived it as an ending that was final, and a threshold uncrossable. It was cruel, and in opposition to life. I wrote about this time in my book TRUE LOVE NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIES, where I share how my brother reached out to me after his transition. It was through his ongoing love and support, that I learned to perceive death differently. I was able to experience love as intelligent and eternal, and I see now how death is one of love’s primary functions for growth and creation.
We are love experiencing ourself in various expressions of creation through time. We are no stranger to death, and it is our fears and beliefs about death that are in the way of us experiencing more peace and freedom here. We can embrace death, befriend death, and become death when we are called to change. We need not fear what we perceive is lost to us forever; what is real in love remains. What is important for our growth and wisdom do also. We can process and integrate the charges of the energy, while maintaining the experiential pearls.
Death encourages us to challenge everything in our reality. When it strikes to remove something or someone significant, it forces us to reconfigure ourselves, our perceptions, and our relationship with everything. We are always in various phases of birth and death energetically in life. Right now there is some part of you dying. There are layers of the past seeking rest and reconciliation in you. As you succumb to it as an aspect of life, instead of resisting it out of fear, you will find it has much to offer. You will also find it has companions that are available to you, to assist you in learning to let go.
Fear not the emptiness and space it leaves. Do not rush to fill it with new activities, attachments, and things. Let yourself be filled with you for awhile. Return to simple chores and steps. Take notice and comfort in the reliable rhythms in nature. Let flow run wild. You won’t run out of tears. In these empty spaces we find openings to places long forgotten and left untended. When the light enters there, a new world emerges within.
I would love to hear from you! What are your experiences with death? Where are you being called to let go? To transform? To be new?
May you find your own darkness more fruitful than fearful! Happy treasure hunting and Happy Halloween 👻💜
September’s Surrender
The fall equinox brought me back to my favorite local park to plant blessings in the earth’s womb. After processing many layers of ancestral and karmic residue, tender connections and simple moments allowed me to see what was real and solid for me as the dust settled. I knew it was so prior, but the past warns and deceives as it comes back around for resolution. It helps to stay grounded in who we are and what is truly real in our life.
I was invited to sit with the elder tree I call Grandmother. The ceremony started with an outpouring of gratitude. She has reached out and held space for me in my deepest and darkest moments of transition and transformation. Walking the path of unconditional love is not always sunshine and rainbows. Souls that choose this path, often go into the darkest places to find, and shine their light. It is from these reformations that medicine, inspiration, and higher resolutions are made possible and tangible in form. One must often be in the energy of something to fully acknowledge, address, and shift it. It starts that way at least, until enough progress is made, and energy is mastered.
I explore my journey on the path of true love in my book TRUE LOVE NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIES. In it I share how I entered the path through a trauma in my marriage that I was able to shift from an inner journey of self-love, that was then mirrored in my relationship. As unconditional love, I was guided to meet every circumstance with love’s virtuous aspects consistently, regardless of what showed up. It was very challenging to my ego. My pride was humiliated, hurt, and in a seemingly weakened position for some time. Truthfully, I had lived in that position for a long time, I was just finally forced to confront it. I was also forced to confront the ways I gave my power away in relationship, the ways I ran away from and numbed myself and my feelings, the ways I was unsupportive, ashamed, and disappointed in myself. I am still removing walls and defensive mechanisms inside. I still address negative expectations as default settings from accumulated past experiences. It is an ongoing spiral of energy refinement that allows me to access more of who I really am at the core of my creations.
At this point, I remain in awe of the power of love. My commitment has brought me to unveil the worst truths and shadows in my reality. It has exposed unhealthy attachments and led to closures in significant relationships. Love leads one through loss and allows one to see it as a necessary ingredient for expansion in creation. The essence of love remains, as the forms and alignments change.
Love is not worried about looks or being understood. Love is about being in truth and integrity, which can be perceived differently from various angles and viewpoints. Following love’s guidance has served me well. It has created profound shifts and changes that continue to ripple out positively. The more I embody the change and allow it to be immediate and real, the easier it becomes. It is only challenged when my past thought forms and emotional layers try to interfere. It is hard to believe that this can be simple and easy when we encounter the collective healing purges creating chaos on the world stage.
This is where my relationship with Grandmother has been so precious. Her roots run deep. Her space is held with patience and wisdom from bearing long-term witness. As I struggled with toxic human patterns and relations, she just loved. As I cried, as I apologized, as I felt horror, shame, guilt, despair… she loved. She strengthened this in me. She taught me how to stand firm in loving silence, even while I hurt, while I was attacked, while I was in anger, while I was feeling injustice. I could feel all, but I did not have to return or respond in kind. I could hold the space for truth, even when confronted with those that couldn’t see or understand it. I could love the stumbles as much as the triumphs. I could love the ME that was hidden, ugly, and mean. I could love the HE that I thought didn’t see me, couldn’t feel the love I really wanted, and couldn’t be emotionally available while in the same forms of denial and escape from himself. I could forgive what I struggled to forget. I could witness myself in many stages, many misunderstandings, leading to many things I would later realize with regret. I could accept them and keep going and trying again.
The path of love has deepened an acceptance and understanding of myself and others, allowing me to feel safer in relationships in ways that used to terrify me. As I open up, I see it reflected in others. I see it in all life forms. The depth is felt everywhere I go. There is no stranger, and there is no aspect undeserving of love. I can simply be love, and leave everyone to their own timing, guidance, and process, without trying to inappropriately attach or interfere. The greatest leaps have taken place in myself, my life, and my relationships when I detached from detailed outcomes or expectations, and gave them freedom. Freedom is an agent of love itself.
Before I went to see Grandmother, I had celebrated my 47th birthday. My husband and I spent a magical weekend in New Orleans. It had been years since we went out there. It was the city that hosted the experiences of our fall. I was a little nervous going back there because of the memories and versions of us that haunted me. This time, I was pleasantly surprised to experience a delightful new version of it. I knew our trip was the consummation of a story that’s ready to be released. The rebirth was validated in a piece of art we both connected to on Magazine St. titled, “From Nothing,” at Terence Osborne’s gallery.
We have both changed so much, so our reflection in the city obliged. We experienced kindness, joy, and validation through others and our circumstances. I was overcome with gratitude and grounded that into the city as much as possible. I was additionally blessed on my actual birthday with 47 red roses. I immediately felt the rose as the symbol of our journey. I knew the path of love and transformation that we shared in the rose, with all its thorns and imperfections, both dismantling and all-encompassing. It was the offering I would make for the equinox: a beautiful blossom arising out of a surrendered pride and balancing of blades.
I placed my TRUE LOVE offering in Grandmother’s womb, in the earth’s womb, in the cosmic womb, in the womb of creation. We are all connected. We are all love embodied. Our connections and unions are sacred; love in all its yearnings and efforts is innocent. Everything can be brought to it, fully surrendered, and made whole. Nothing is too lost, too damaged, or irredeemable. Love is our true home.
I then placed blessings in all wombs and hearts, asking for a restoration of the heart connection in all. I asked for all to experience love from their divine spark, even if it was only the tiniest of stirrings available at this time. Love needs more demonstrative foot soldiers on the ground. Love is calling us back to ourselves, out of the nonsensical reactive distractions in the world. Love is turning the heat up to lead all back to their own counsel and connection. Love will continue to incite frustration and failure in the pathways of distortion. Earth is reclaiming her divine inheritance and position as love in the higher realms. Those wishing to live on her upgraded soil will need to align to the higher dimensional version of themselves. We do this together. We create the new by becoming the energy we wish to experience or manifest in form. We then attract our circumstances according to the energy we are transmitting. Those seeking peace in their lives, must become it. Those chasing love in the wrong places, will be led to face the inner conflicts and illusions of their own making. There will be no respite or rescue externally, that does not have an origin within. The good news is, we designed the elements of our incarnation here, and are guided and supported on a soul level through its entirety.
We are here to rise empowered and sovereign in love. We are not left in illusions and distortion indefinitely. We have compromised ourselves long enough. We have mistakenly normalized our worst feelings and behaviors as our true nature, and designated love, compassion, courage, and ingenuity as a rarity. Prepare to have your world flip. Consider the truth is the opposite of what you know. Let yourself not know and be curious, excited, inspired, and guided in each moment. Humanity is expanding beyond its previously set limitations and conditions of possibility. Love is calling us each to pave new pathways of engagement and experience. We are to imagine and fulfill our highest potential instead of repeating old historic or prophetic expectations.
We are being rewired and expanded in upgrades of light. September has been a harvest on many levels. Some delivered surprising endings, some we knew were in route, others were returns on things we seeded long ago. We are being pulled increasingly to live in the flow state of creation. To learn to let things go with more ease and grace, knowing that another aligned energy and opening is arriving in its place.
We are additionally experiencing the mind’s ability to exhaust itself, so we can restore feeling back to its proper place in our intuitive guidance system. We don’t always need to mentally know why something is not for us. We are better informed as we allow and ground feeling and awareness back into our bodies, to then learn to trust what our energy is telling us. The next phase of life on earth reinstates love, joy, freedom, and compassion as foundational principles of creation and experience. We want to feel every bit of our authentic frequencies as they return to the earth plane’s bandwidth of creation.
Forgiveness is another aspect of love that is relevant to these times. Can we imagine what life on earth is like when all is forgiven? When all are free to express and create their heart’s true desires without fear of judgment, persecution, or recrimination? This too, is to be embodied, enacted, and lived here in these tumultuous times, as a means of birthing and grounding it into physical expression and possibility.
Forgiveness is a central theme for me in this life. I still encounter challenges, mostly in forgiving myself. Forgiveness is a commitment. It is something we must open ourselves to, and be willing to change the energy we are in with a person or situation. It isn’t about exonerating someone or approving of an event that was hurtful. It isn’t to justify a wrongdoing. Forgiveness is a mechanism of love that shifts the energy of an event that’s stored in the body. Holding on to anger and righteousness might feel good for a time. It may feel like strength and help delay processing the more vulnerable parts of the hurt. It is however, corrosive to carry, and creates blocks and disease in the body. I have personally felt the lightening of forgiveness in a very physical and tangible sense. Forgiveness uplifts and frees energy, additionally allowing for a new perception point and higher understanding. Forgiveness severs attachments and cords to lower frequency energy or beings, freeing one to a new higher experience. It is far more than a philosophical or moral concept in its application.
To become and experience unconditional love here, at a time when fear, judgment, divisiveness, and shame are the more common pathways and choices employed, has required me to accept unlimited forgiveness as a path as well. The deeper I delve into myself, my past, my other incarnations, and my other dimensional aspects, I realize I have played many roles in both dark and light. I have understood what escaped me in understanding and awareness at times, that allowed and encouraged me to hurt others, is what befalls most here. Being born and conditioned with limited and ignorant settings, in cultures that reinforce survival and competition strategies, help maintain it. Any of us, given the right set of circumstances and deprivations, would find ourselves willing to compromise and question many of our cherished notions, ethics, boundaries, and ideals. Most of what people are doing here to each other, is not personal. Confusion, distortion, and delusion are rampant in the maze of the 3D matrix of reality. When we remember truth, when we heal, when we know better, we do better. We then see the problems in the structures of the maze itself, and discover we have had the way out of it inside us all along.
We also see the kinship we have with all life, and forgiveness becomes a natural part of who we are… We remember, we relate, and we release what holds us back. We know this act of freedom ripples out in ways that uplift many.
September closed out for me in deep surrender in the Dreamtime. I was with my family on the ocean, and many were gathered there. We were all called to make sacrifices to the water. Each of us knew what we needed to be willing to let go of, and we all went into the water to place our offerings. I had four, but the one that stood out in my waking memory was the grief and guilt I still held for one of my pets. The ocean of love wasn’t asking us to release things that we loved or cherished. We were being asked to surrender our pain. We ARE being asked to let go of our mental and emotional attachments and constructs that keep us in suffering. It was so beautiful to behold people of all faiths, cultures, ages, and walks of life, coming together to the water in reverence and willingness to lay down their burdens. Some of their hurts were their comforts and all they had known for a long time. I awoke with a specific pain in my heart, and as I insulated and filled it with love, I relinquished a distorted core belief in me that I carried and perceived for a long time. It was the belief that “Love isn’t real. Love isn’t safe, and others can’t be trusted. I will never have the love that I want.” As the distortion unraveled, the love was able to be directed to all of the timelines, creations, and experiences it had affected. I was then able to clear it from my lineages, replacing it with the upgraded frequencies and templates of Divine Love. With transformation, comes more freedom and feeling, allowing more love to be present in all of my relationships and circumstances.
What will you sacrifice from September? Where can you acknowledge pain, attachments, or detrimental beliefs and habits in yourself that are in the way of you receiving and being love? Where are you called to surrender? Can you live in a state of surrender in life, trusting you are held and uplifted by love in each moment when you do? Do you trust love? Do you remember it as the truth of who you are?
I would love to hear from you about your September! Hoping to see you soon at the sacred waters of surrender.💙🧜♀️
From Purgatory to Peace
August has brought a fierce heat and required us to surrender to the fires of transmutation on multiple levels. We fear fire and often mourn what it reclaims, but we forget fire is an alchemical agent. What survives it is transformed, refined, and stronger; what succumbs to it makes space for something new to blossom. Fire is part of life and creation. We contain sparks within us, affording us creational agency, passion, and excitement. We are no stranger to life’s transformational tools, though we often don’t recognize them as such when we are in their intensity.
When we observe nature, we become aware of the cycles, patterns, and rhythms that facilitate and guide all life. We are part of them, guided by them, and facilitators of them in our own way. As much as we think we have control when we advance ourselves in some area, we are at times reminded of our subservient position to the grander forces and designs at play.
The manifestations of these forces can seem destructive, punitive, and cruel to those living in a lower frequency bandwidth of perception. From that view, loss is unjust and forever. Life is cut short and unfinished mistakenly. People seem victims of life, lucky or unlucky in their draw at birth. Death is menacing and predatory. Some belief systems preach death’s dark intentions as an avoidable fate mitigated only by an exclusive set of rules or submission to a deity. Fear is a currency that is used to drive life in subjugation, and eternity is held as an unimaginable possibility and option for a select few.
As consciousness rises into the higher bandwidth of assured eternal origin and inevitability, however, fear simply becomes an illusory block to divine flow and potential. Fear is a misunderstanding or misperception, in the way of a higher truth. Fear productively, becomes the direct path to access transformation. Fear does not stop action or cause retraction, rather it warrants investigation and illumination. Fear that is fully recognized and processed, is then easily dismissed, or dissipated when encountered again in another person or situation.
We are shedding many old layers of experience, some inherited and not originating with us in this lifetime. To rise, we must see where we hold old energies, imbalances, and entanglements in lower realms of experience, relationship, and belief. They are blocks and limits to expansion. Life exists in perpetual motion; we are in phases of expansion and contraction, birth and death, ongoing and often simultaneously. Saying yes to life is saying yes to death and its various forms and agents.
August called forth a culmination of karmic residue and responsibility. We have increasingly been guided by death’s direction and new offerings, and what we refuse to acknowledge is aflame in our awareness or exploding in our reality. Old ways, comforts, and roles won’t get us through. Some are falling away completely and won’t be available anymore. If we are perceptive, this has been coming for a long time. If we are honest, we are relieved with some closures, and terrified with others. Have we ever considered who a butterfly is inside the chrysalis, as we marvel after at the glory of its wings?
I experienced my karmic climax over the course of moving my youngest daughter to college. I of course knew it was impending for quite some time and had waves of emotion surface leading up to the event, but the enactment itself brought additional ancestral accounts forward that were seeking acknowledgement and liberation. It can be quite a challenge to stay present in the moment while a heavy-laden toll claims its due. It is no different when the toll doesn’t originate with you. The energies can feel like your emotions, your thoughts, your feelings, your fears, your projections, your grief. You have most likely engaged in dramas with them in your own life before unknowingly, and felt victimized by their perceived threats, while projecting their enemies in your relations.
For me, it was unburdening the plight of the women in my lineages; I was filled with feeling and knowing so many dreams unfulfilled, anger, resentment, disempowerment, perceived failure or weakness, and rage. I felt an accumulation of suppressed grief and unspoken desperation. I felt an immense fear of losing worth and value as I aged. I was overcome with a loss of identity and purpose. It was disorienting at times, so I spent my mornings in meditation and spoke the Hawaiian prayer for forgiveness through my ancestral lines. I walked the earth with love, connection, and intention. I was gratefully held for the transition and present for my daughter’s initiation into her new chapter.
I knew what I was stepping into when we first entered our cabin on the mountain. I was immediately greeted by a newly emerged locust on the porch. The metamorphosis phase of the locust informed me of the state I was in and its intended outcome. I felt the vulnerability and rawness of one that had shed its former skin. I was told the transformation was already in place and reminded of my wings. I then got to see the locust take its first flight. I kept the shell for my prayers and was guided to release the old skin on the last day in honor of what was experienced but is no more. As I went to go, there was another empty shell in gravel at my feet. I was told to acknowledge my husband’s transformation too, and to allow him to be new. The women in me had so much mistrust, anger, resentment, and fear of the power and position of men. They lived so many toxic relationships and imbalances. Some of the women grew cold and saw the men as dangerous fire. The men carried their own burdens in the mix, but emotional connections and understanding between the sexes were not well-trodden in my line. Men were often a source of income, but also conflict between family and friends. I had carried these attitudes forth early on in my marriage. They were settings I didn’t know to question, relationships I grew up seeing, dynamics I played out with my husband, and assignations I placed on him often.
The most important thing to recognize while being a vehicle for a collective’s passage of the past, is to know your ability to change it for yourself. You are supported by many generations in doing so. Sometimes unresolved voices simply want to be acknowledged, sometimes their pain and stories felt and understood, sometimes gifts and wisdom want to be passed down, but always the bearers of the karmic weight want to be set free. Old vows, traumas, grudges, and burdens have ways of being passed on down the line and hardwired into various manifestations of mental, emotional, and physical inheritance. Many generations felt helpless in their lot. Many didn’t know they had the power to change familial or societal traditions and expectations. For most, these frameworks of experience were prisons and perspectives that they were obligated to carry forth out of honor in sacrifice to the greater good of their people. Some families were entrained to certain behaviors and beliefs through religious influence, others through economic and social status. The chains of our past shape our possibilities from the inside out, until we know we have personal agency, and our kin on the other side celebrating our ingenuity and innovation. We are not doomed to repeat patterns; we are often brought to the energies intentionally to create new outcomes.
In my most recent prayer gathering, I invited my ancestors for communion. They gently reminded me that I am also here to enjoy the wisdom and fruits of their labor. I had focused so much on the task of clearing and integrating traumatic energy, that I forgot about the gifts and treasures available. We can call on them to offer their strength and guidance. No matter how imperfect or unapproachable they seemed in their human form, there is the spiritual nature of our kinfolk that holds understanding and insight beyond their capacity in the physical world. As I marveled at what should have been obvious to me, they had an offering.
A young male stepped forward that appeared to be a hunter or warrior type. He was shirtless and wore a lion’s headdress. He introduced himself as more of an adventurer than a fighter, although he fought hard to find his way. He gifted me with the spirit of assertion and exploration. He had left home and all he knew to cross an ocean to a completely unknown land. He knew he had to make his own way, and he learned new languages and manners to get through. He assimilated to a certain point, but he maintained his authenticity and belief in his greatness. He held his love for his family and saw his pursuits as extensions of its love and honor. He reminded me that this is part of me, and that it existed in both sides of my family. He said although the roles were slightly different, both men and women blazed this trail. He acknowledged the new territory we were in on earth now, but assured me I had what I needed to succeed. I felt the energetic presence of the gift inside and was deeply grateful for his experience and the exchange. I am now seeing every day as a new adventure. We are in unprecedented times and evolutionary changes. It is beyond important to stay grounded, to know our roots and depth, and to hold our value and vision for the sake of all life.
All of life on earth is our family. There are lives we spent as trees, animals, and otherworldly beings. Our ancestry is vast and full of magic and medicine. So many various life forms have shown up in response to my prayers and offerings to the earth during this transition. Love is the unifying ingredient. WE are not strangers to each other or life. When we are drawn to things, even those that are seemingly different or difficult, we are seeking recognition and reconnection for a purpose. Some things that show up are outside of a belief system or familiar face, but they are known to us in our hearts.
I was recently visited by a Lakota legend named White Buffalo Calf Woman while I was in intense pain and grief. As I opened my prayer ritual and circle, she was there waiting. She came to me and placed her hand on my chest. I was immediately overcome by a force of tranquility. She told me that the stillness and peace that I felt was the true nature of reality. She assured me that all of the surface disturbances and complexities in emotion, division, and story, are not real. We are experiencing and shedding many imprints of emotion and perception that are distortions of truth, and that it is important to surrender all of them to what’s real. She said that the world needs those that are ready to embody this peace. The world needs examples and demonstrations of this now. She encouraged me to make time for truth and peace in my day. This is not something I get from outside me. We are encouraged to seek our truth, peace, and stillness inside. It is from this place that we will live, share, create, build, and birth the new earth. It is from this place we will know we are love and stop looking outside for validation or completion. We are already the love that we seek. We are already our purpose and our success. We are already that which we seek in the outer world. We are learning to master ourselves to receive in the outer world that which we activate from inside.
To access and embody more of the peace we are, we are detoxing the denser karmic distortions and residue we have accrued over many lifetimes and experiences. When we understand what’s happening, we can give ourselves the space and time to prioritize this process, without projecting fear or danger into our current circumstances. Our bodies are releasing and mutating ongoing. We can offer support to our bodies by attending to what they require as needed. Sometimes they require changes in nourishment, rest, and activity. Exercise and movement are good ways to shift energy in the body when we don’t have a healing modality or practice. Writing, singing, and speaking help with shifting stories and intentions. If you haven’t tried speaking the release or claim of something for yourself, try it. Prayer is communication with your spirit. Consider that your body and voice are instruments of expression and creation for the you existing beyond form.
We are closing out August with a full blue supermoon in Pisces, while 6 planets are retrograde. What do you need to see in yourself and your current circumstances that need upgrades? What do you need to let go? Are you carrying forth old stories, beliefs, emotions, projections, defenses, prejudices, conflicts, imbalances, relations, or distortions that prevent you from assuming your power and mastery as a divine creator being of love? What disturbs or dishonors your PEACE? Paradigms are shifting, narratives are flipping, and systems are breaking down for you to rebuild and align your life to your authenticity. It’s a process, it’s a blessing; it’s a procedure procured by PEACE itself to secure the golden age on earth imagined and foretold for ages.
Where can you find peace in yourself? Your day? Your relationships? Your communities? Your landscape? Your work? Your mindset? We are bridging this peace in each moment, choice, intention, relationship, action, opportunity, and creation. Take notice of those in your atmosphere that instill peace; discern all that you invite into it that brings its opposition. We are practicing standing in our true nature no matter the circumstance. You are only here response-ably to be you. Choose wisely and treat kindly.
I would love to hear from you about your August experience! Let’s come together to share and bridge, WHAT BRINGS YOU PEACE?
Employing the Freedom to Dream
July came in with a heat and intensity that is lighting new fires of possibility, and burning out reservoirs of unconscious and unnecessary excess. Fire molds and shapes as it decimates and destroys. New identities and realizations are emerging, allowing new life to unfold from any surmounting ashes.
As we contemplated and celebrated freedom in the USA for Independence Day, much was going on in the etheric realms to further address the energetic shackles still unrealized by many in the physical world. The physical is a manifestation of energy that exists in operation on multiple levels, most unseen or perceived by our body’s traditional sensory capabilities. We are taught to disregard other aspects of our consciousness as unreal or imaginary, despite their influence and information that is crucial in contributing to creation.
As we awaken to our multidimensional nature, and learn to utilize our body’s divine technology, we open ourselves to what is affecting us and our world in other realms. We realize there is no separation between realms; it is our awareness and willingness to address our position in these other aspects of consciousness that can help us advance and empower ourselves in new ways. When viewed from an energetic and impersonal standpoint, we become less emotionally entangled in conflict and fear. We know that exploring our own psyche and its symbolism, is key to navigating life’s perpetual changes. Fear in all forms contains a lower frequency to be addressed and transmuted, no matter how big or universally influential it may seem.
Freedom is also a frequency, and it has been fought for, cultivated, wielded, and experienced in peaks of creation that ripple out with purpose. July 4th is one of these peak times, and astrologically its date was not chosen at random. It signifies a stellar gateway when our sun connects to the sun of Sirius, allowing a higher frequency of freedom to be accessed. In preparation for this year’s influx of higher frequencies, much restrictive interference was removed and transmuted in the unconscious realms, allowing more to access their own truth, recognize relevant deceit and disclosure, and allow the emotional processing that follows revelation to assist in arriving at a new perception point. We are living in times of rapid energetic transition, transmutation, and transformation; all on earth are undergoing this together, regardless of where they are in their respective understandings or choices.
Because we are one with life, we need not fear our fate in addressing any darkness we are currently facing. We each carry a facet of creation’s purpose, with a future designed and secured by us in the larger picture at play. We are here to be our true selves and can only know our way from exploring our divine connection and nature within. We are given guidance and direction ongoing. All of our life is our creation, and we can only succeed in mastering ourselves. This is an act of service, naturally contributing to the greater good. When we remember and embody our true nature as LOVE, right action and alignment arise naturally.
Can we trust this to be true in times of conflict? In war? In sorrow?
Can we be present with the changing tides, continuing to anchor in the love eternal inside ourselves?
Can we recognize our emotional triggers as areas of inner significance, instead of projecting blame on an outer source?
We hold the energy of magnetism and manifestation for our circumstances; can we recognize our stories, beliefs, defenses, and behavioral habits that determine our perceptions and results?
Can we own ALL of it, in the way of empowerment and not blame?
Can we bring forth the new we seek in ourselves first, rather than waiting for another to change?
Can we accept that universal love is unconditional?
Can we offer love to ourselves? Our families? Our perceived enemies?
Can we look at our discomforts and judgments as opportunities to explore past experiences that are unhealed or unprocessed?
Can we trust the universal laws of justice and karma to deliver a return in energy to each that is appropriate and beneficial to love’s purpose?
I remember a time I was grappling with justice myself in situations that I felt were cruel and unfair. I mistakenly thought there was an outcome that would stop or justify the pain I was in, or that there was this one thing to set it fair and right. My guiding angels quickly pulled me up, up, up, and higher to a near cosmic view that helped me to see the multitude of situations and perspectives being balanced and meted out. It helped me to surrender my personal desires, limited ideas, and attempts at control, in a willingness to allow a higher outcome for all.
We are at this point in humanity, where our collective limited ideas and outworn systems are being surrendered to the higher operating intelligence of Love that is now more tangibly available. The lower frequency systems rooted in fear, lack, and separation are no match for the higher light templates, codes, and frequencies streaming through the planet. This is a fundamental change that is inescapable, although there is a freedom in choice that determines the alignment and ride. Belief in being a victim of an unjust reality, only assures one’s place and experience in such. Perception and imagination are powerful tools of creation, with effects and results in energy and alignment.
The first week of July was heavenly for me. Spring brought a lot in the way of karmic closure and relationship adjustments that freed more of my energy to feel fulfilled and whole. I was on the ocean, which is a place of restoration and expansion for me. I felt held and in an exchange of abundant life and love, allowing me to receive confirmation on a vision I received two years ago. I connected to a physical place I had encountered in a dream, and was given the opportunity to accept another course in life that will be very different from what I have lived so far.
After soulful reflection, I accepted the invitation knowing I had already done so in other realms of creation. I then said my goodbyes and thanked the land, sea, and its messengers for an amazing time and offer. I came home buzzing with excitement and pregnant with the possibility. I began researching and making contacts along the path of physicalizing the deal. There is a means availing itself, but there is also a timing. I know there are energy clearings and adjustments that I will go through ongoing to ensure I am a match for this new life. There will be things for me to let go, things for me to learn, things for me to take a risk.
This was emphasized in a series of dreams that I had once I returned home. I began dreaming to clear fears, relationship traumas, conflicting beliefs, and expectations of negative outcomes. We hold so much of this in our subconscious, and dreams in part, are ways for us to address these aspects when we are aware of our messaging system and its symbolism. I realized I was being shown the things in the way of me taking my next step so I could release them and choose a new script.
This process further culminated in a dream where I visited the land I connected to, and discovered my friend was there already with her family. She was very pregnant, and in my dreams pregnancy often symbolizes a new creation, opportunity, life, or desire. This friend is typically aggressive in going for what she wants in life, so she was impatient in the dream and wanted to rush her delivery. She called for someone to bring a hooking device to break her water. I was alarmed and tried to talk her out of it, seeing the potential in hurting the baby in the process. I told her that nature has its own timing that is best, but she proceeded any way. She then packed up and got into the ocean to head back home. I warned her again of contamination in the water posing a risk to her baby since they had opened the amniotic sac. She ignored me a second time, wanting it to hurry to fit her schedule. I was left there with a foreboding feeling, knowing I was in the beginning of my gestation period with this vision, and that I would not make the same mistakes.
I awoke understanding the importance of divine timing, and the opportunity available in savoring each step and moment. The journey is the point, each step crucial and meaningful, no matter how mundane or menial. I look back on the last chapter of my life and see how magnificent my changes and accomplishments are to me BECAUSE of the love and labor that built and sustained them over time. In having connected to the future vision, I realize how much in my life and self will change to get there. I accept where I am now and will approach each step with gratitude and presence to the best of my ability. For now I have a dream, and the taste and uplifting hope of its realization. This is where imagination comes into our toolbox, because to go where we haven’t been we must imagine it first. I do so lightly, remembering my limited view from the angels’ tutelage, and I let my feelings of excitement, love, and gratitude fill in the blanks. I received a preview of its attainment in feeling, so it is there I will play to entrain my system to deliver the physical result in kind.
This is also where I go when I envision, embrace, and enliven the new earth. New earth is being bridged and fortified by dreamers and visionaries. This doesn’t mean it is happening only in the realm of ideas and mind, true light bearers are grounded in their bodies and realities, while unafraid to explore and go beyond. So much is being addressed and accomplished in the etheric realms to secure physical changes that don’t seem possible now. To get there, we must play in the higher potentialities, open ourselves to embody the higher frequencies, and believe and act on the information and opportunities we are receiving inside us. We must be willing to hold to ideals and virtues that are uncommon and unappreciated, to act in alignment with them and with our truth even when misunderstood, and to pave new ways of being that go beyond reacting with the same energy and anger of any conflict or problem. The new earth is secured through those willing to see beyond duality, act in the consideration of unity, and forgive the ignorance and brutality. There are resolutions where the energy is elevated and united; blame is separation, stagnation, and disempowerment–period.
As we contemplate freedom on personal and collective levels, let us remember the power of one. One love that is animating all life, and one love inside each, despite the varying external stories and forms. August will bring another Sirian alignment in the 8/8 lion’s gate portal. Let it call up the lion’s courageous heart in you, in service to the earth evolution underway.
What dreams are you contemplating at this time personally? Collectively? Are you aware of the many creational elements active in you when you are trying to build or launch a new idea, creation, or foundation? Are you open to all the dimensional aspects of you that guide you in different ways, channels, and levels of consciousness?
Do you know the healing and creative power of dreams? Can you nurture a seed inside you patiently and considerately while your energies shift and align to offer you steps in the appropriate timing?
The earth needs dreamers and dream weavers to hold the intent, visions, and energies of healing and wholeness for her and all her children. It doesn’t matter where we were before, what is common now, or what others will do. What is possible in your heart? What do you know is true and being called up inside of you? If you can be it and live it, it is attainable and will grow in sustainability the more it is available to others. Do you know the power of a spark? Of a wave? You are a force creating ripples in the ocean, holding the space for the water to rise higher and higher. Whatever your higher vision is for yourself, your home, your family, your community, your country, your world, or your universe, plant it in your heart. Hold it in a spacious area of freedom and faith. Water it regularly with unconditional love and the good feelings that erupt inside when you think of it. Let the warmth of the sun and the light of divine intelligence shine on its face. Nurture it and act as if it so. See its possibility in every encounter and landscape. Know it is alive. It is alive in you, and you keep it alive in every breath, every thought, every choice, and every step you take in getting there….
Wherever you are, it is there. It exists already and is made possible through you.
I would love for you to share any visions that you want acknowledged here. We are learning to get comfortable in asking for what we really want, and allowing ourselves to believe and receive. It takes practice at first to override our old default settings. Keep dreaming and planting! Happy New Moon 🌚💙
