Forging Freedom
I started July on an island in Florida, which is one of my versions of paradise on earth. Being on a large body of water is always expansive for me. I am often swimming inside even while on land, ever aware of the flow of energy streaming in motion. It helps me to let go of any internal burdens or blocks, and to just be present. I feel happy and held in harmony with whatever arises.
The 4th interrupted that peace with an accident and injury to a couple of people in our party that required medical intervention. It was a serious situation that required my full attention, but also an opportunity to hold a space of calm and trust in the face of potential trouble.
As always, I was tracking energies and shifts in the dreamtime throughout the experience. While in the hospital, I was clearing dark energies and parasites that are attracted to illness. Once I made it out of the hospital, I was taken through learning exercises to master turbulent waters.
I was in a boat in my dream, navigating stormy seas. I felt the correlation in my boat between fearful thoughts and the capsizing of my boat. As I entertained thoughts of fear, they brought feelings. As I felt the fear, my boat would rock uncontrollably, exacerbating all elements of the situation. I was then reminded that neutrality in thought combined with emotional stability, are what stabilizes the boat in the storm.
As I chose to let go of the fear in all its forms, the boat calmed. I then experienced myself in a steady boat that easily surfed chaotic waves. I understood I was not there to control the surface of the ocean, but to embody the mastery of its overall depths in me. From this position I can hold the strength and position of the ocean, where all disturbances are ultimately resolved once they’ve played out their various purposes for those involved.
We often feel the pressure to “fix things” for others. When we connect to the depths of our ocean, however, there is trust in the energy and appropriateness of all its manifestations and opportunities. We realize also how much energy is wasted when given to situations where we have no power or authority. We are not here to control everything, especially things designed for the empowerment or growth of others. When we step in to fix, we are also implying we don’t acknowledge that person’s capability or sovereignty.
The feminine force of creation allows. She holds all in their truth and higher potential. She loves them as such, knows them as such, and holds them accountable as such, not in judgement or blame, but in compassion and love. This force exists in all and is being restored to its proper balance and station on earth. As she rises and heals to unify with an upgraded masculine force, true autonomy and freedom will reign.
In this time on earth, we are being called to remember our origin and position in the ocean of consciousness. As emissaries of what is deep and true, we are being guided to right our boats in any superficial stormy weather. What is real is undisturbed. What is truth cannot be destroyed by lies or hate. What is shaky will only be righted by love, which is the truth that surpasses all in scope and time.
July continues to shake things up in divisiveness and fear. As the frequency of existence on earth rises, it will unveil and unlock illusions. It will reveal false identities and expose underlying truths and intentions. This is occurring inside us, mirrored outside us in response to our energy signature. Some will identify with the “pot calling the kettle black,” based on their inherited predispositions as a pot. Others will take the position of the kettle in the same fashion, failing to see the similarities and resonance shared between the two.
The intense blame and fear mongering is a distraction. It is also often met and matched by both sides in a game long played that has disempowered and subjugated humanity inside. As the intensity and transparency increases, we are given the keys to unlock our prisons. Will we see the narratives and organizations for what they are? Will we see the fruits of their labors? Will we continue to entertain and entrain ourselves to paradigms of fear and doom, or will we recognize our power as creators and forge new possibilities?
We must first realize our power to choose. Our power lies in responding in new ways to old problems. We can respond to hate with love, ignorance with compassion, and fear with freedom. Many of us chose to demonstrate personal freedom in a time of panic, prejudice, and mandates. Many of us don’t need an apology for the past, or permission to live free.
Freedom is an inside job, forged in every thought, choice, action, and attitude. Seek the places inside where you are willing to compromise that in the face of fear and recognize the game that is played. It is an underlying current in everything and easily addressed externally once you meet and face it in yourself honestly.
The lower fear realms block us from our light. They entangle our focus and energy in darker dense realities that stagnate or obscure our higher perception faculties. They hook us into lower frequency pain and emotional constructs. Fear denies our magic. Fear creates confusion and doubt in our ability to trust the higher forces always at work.
We are all connected to fear. It is part of humanity’s evolutionary experience on earth. True freedom comes from addressing our fear inside, and becoming aware of the way it influences us, often from a subconscious level. We can give it many reasons, justifications, characteristics, and assignations, but at its core it’s the same, and as a frequency it can be dispelled and absorbed by its higher expressions of love. When we hear things like, “love conquers all fear,” it is expressing an energetic and etheric truth, not just a philosophical or moral concept.
How do you respond to fear? Are you an emissary and embodiment of fear or love? We are being brought to our depths personally and collectively during this phase of creation.
These times are not for the faint of heart.
Are you willing to compromise your heart for fear? To justify murdering or harming others in fear and judgement? Understand that nothing is apart from you. What you seek for and send to others, you will call upon and resonate with yourself. Gods worshipped and sought for vengeance, reigned over those embroiled in unending conflict and retribution. A boat set on violence and punishment will not attract or settle on peaceful waters.
Some here are still set on experiencing power plays and war. This is nothing new. Each will determine their investment and engagement with systems and narratives that are in desperation and decline. There is energy being transmuted for all in the process. We are living in times of karmic resolution for the ascension of the planet into a higher frequency bandwidth of creation. All unprocessed dense energy will be shifted and lifted into the higher for a new earth experience. This is in tandem with universal changes and cycles, nothing is separate.
Collectively we will evolve beyond the limitation and exploration of duality, with its seemingly opposite poles and contradictions that encourage conflict and suffering when plagued with misunderstanding and fear. We are addressing the residue of many cataclysmic and catastrophic events inside, and being given the opportunities and ingredients to alchemize changes in the way we move forward “outside.” There is great purpose and meaning discernible in everything encountered for those that have the eyes to see and the ears to hear.
You are responsible for what is being called up in you.
What are your fears?
What are your challenges?
Where are you participating in prejudice, hate, hurt, or harm? Where are you limiting yourself in narratives of low self-worth or victimization? These are not questions to induce blame, they are opportunities for liberation.
We are solely responsible for our choices and creations. We are growing through our direct experiences and responses. If we are living according to another’s script or mindset, we are holding ourselves back. We know our truth. It speaks to us and through us. We are connected to the source of life, here to fulfill our own unique expression and exploration of love. We must set aside external fears and distractions to know our own light and purpose.
We are coming home to ourselves. We are learning to stabilize our vessels with the deep ocean of creation. What we commit to in love, create with love, and share with love is an expression of God. We are not asked to conform or perform some ritual to become worthy, we need only live authentically from our spirit.
Our spirit is not in conflict with another’s spirit. Our spirit recognizes its existence and likeness in all things. We fracture ourselves from our spirit when we harm ourselves or another.
Humanity is evolving to experience its unity with all life. It is being purged of all its distortions and delusions. We all have a personal journey and process to honor. Our hearts are opening to guide us home. All will return to love in due time.
Love is the substance of dreams, seams, and stars. Love holds us together while our minds seek to tear us apart. Love is responsive, intelligent, and restorative. Love only needs an invitation and opening to transform the most seemingly hopeless situations. I shared my personal journey on the path of love and how it transformed my life in my book TRUE LOVE NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIES. It is the truth I lived that helped test and forge the mettle in me. It is how I have come to stand firmly in the face of deceptions and perversions of what I know to be real, personally and globally.
As our circumstances continue to change and our opinions clash on earth, remember your love. Be willing to surrender the pettiness, worries, and conflicts to love. Seek the spaces where all come together. Trust love’s design and depths to see all things through. Know the truth from your heart and seek the wisdom of your direct experiences. I travel all over the country and meet the kindest and most sincere people all along the way. It’s time to invest and build on what is still inherently good.
Be willing to be a demonstration of LOVE’s goodness. Ingratiate yourself to love and let love carry you through.
Trust you will always have what you need to face your trials. They are crafted and aligned by the higher parts of you.
We are never alone. We are never left without an opening to our higher guiding light. We are continuously calibrating to the transformative energies at hand. As I follow my guidance, I continue to unlock aspects of myself in higher realms.
Trust your feelings. Your body knows when you are in the presence of lies. Your gut knows when a person, path, or story is not for you. They don’t have to be wrong and an enemy, because they aren’t for you. Let your truth be yours. Honor and live it; that is enough.
When we learn how to meet and love the darkest and hardest parts of ourselves, we are better able to be present with them in others without rocking or wrecking our boat. We can then heal and attract new situations from a higher vantage point. We can forgive and love others, even when they seek to harm. We are more aware of the mechanics of the situation and are better able to extricate ourselves from it easily.
Fear is an energy seeking a host. It knows our weaknesses. It goes to the places we believe ourselves to be small and powerless. It lives in our excuses, doubts, traumas, and stories. It is marketed and sold to us daily to capture our allegiance. It can be challenged. It can be cast off. It can be fully embraced and accepted, and then traded in for truth.
It can be introduced to love and made whole. Fear is only part of a story, a perspective, or a possibility, and it is usually misguided. Your heart always knows what is true for you, and what your role is in a situation.
May your heart be filled with love to overcome all fear. May it bless and guide you for the days ahead…💜
Solstice to Self
As the light intensified approaching the summer solstice in June, it highlighted for me any lingering old hang-ups, stories, relationships, or beliefs that were ready for transmutation. We are all in this process ongoing in a planetary ascension cycle, but there are rotations and rhythms where peaks can be felt and utilized to embody more source energy.
As I remove various layers of attachment, I am sometimes surprised at how much of my energy is returned to me. We are often connected and invested energetically in things that we are largely unaware of in their impact or detriment to ourselves. We are entrained to see or experience life and people a certain way very young, and our modes of operation are comfortable even when they are destructive.
We often accept very bleak expectations and ideas about things through religious or political doctrine for example and allow ourselves and others to be minimized to maintain our internal sense of order and validity with our worldview. We see the degeneracy but instead of changing it, we choose a side of it that we term as “less evil.” Such is life in the realm of survival and poverty consciousness; justifications and determinations forged in fear, secured in manipulation and ignorance.
The weight of these denser energies can get convoluted and oppressive. One of my childhood friends ended her life at the beginning of the month, and as I prayed for her transition, I could see her fight to free herself of a black tarpit of suffering. Her freedom was assured to me, but she will process the totality of her earth experiences as part of her exit from physical incarnation. She will then be able to perceive the beauty of her soul in the ways we all perceived it in her during our time together on earth.
The shock of this brought back remnants of 2014 and the loss of my brother. I was better able to move through it this time because he visited me the night before I found out about her and comforted me in a dream. I was grieving while he held me and I awoke knowing there was something coming, but that I was loved and supported beyond death. I know through him that we exist beyond, and I am comforted in knowing she is not alone in her process now.
This summer solstice pushed me deeper into owning myself. As I was called to process and further shift the distorted masculine template in May, I was brought to end my relationship with the toxic feminine in June. I have been refining these forces in me for a long time now. It has required that I end or withdraw support from some relationships at times, and that I rewrite and rework my scripts and perspectives of my creation at others.
Some of these shifts are simply from incompatibility in frequency; some are from needing boundaries, and about learning to choose myself and my guidance first and foremost. Differences of opinion and perspective are great for expansion purposes, but if they are utilized and intended to keep you small or submissive, they must go. We are not here to serve another from a place of diminishment. True service is an act of love not bondage.
The earth has experienced cycles of time in both ascending and descending frequency. In denser times, it was harder for beings to become aware or active in their own source connection. It became common practice to take from others, knowingly and unknowingly. This was especially true for the “nobility,” and we still see this shamelessly displayed in our authoritarian class today. The “spiritual” community is also full of healers and masters operating from the old ways. There is a sense of entitlement in powering up that often allows them to justify using other people’s energy for what they deem is the highest good.
I have personally been approached many times, in both the physical and astral realms, by people trying to take my energy. I marvel at how I am sometimes given signs preceding these events. I am often sent animals as messengers. There are agents of dark and light forces, and vultures often alert me to dark witchery. The day before the solstice a vulture touched down in front of my vehicle and scooped up the carcass of a squirrel. It came with the feeling that something was poking around, and to take note.
That night I encountered an attempt at stealing my sexual energy from a friend while in a healing meditation for sleep. I easily repelled the encounter and was grateful for the validation. I had been feeling incongruency and underlying ill intent from her for some time but kept talking myself out of it in the spirit of being nice and understanding of differences in friendship. Once that boundary is approached and attempted to be crossed without my consent, however, the channel and contact are closed by me for good.
As I went on with my morning, I came across another two sets of vultures, six in total, on my morning drive. Both were consuming racoons, which symbolized trickery and deceit for me in my old story. I was further validated, and grateful to the vulture energy for showing me what was being purified in my life. I have stayed the course despite doubting myself and my worth at times. The path gets murky and is only clear once you find and follow your soul signature in the waves. We are not here to suffer or serve in obligations to others. Know your energy and trust your feelings, because many will feast on you with a smile on their face and conviction in their own lies.
This solstice brought me to a renewal in trusting myself, my path, my guidance, and my heart. As I closed this out, I received a surge of my upgraded feminine energy and a new, more unified configuration with my masculine.
When the feminine is not being manipulated, feels safe, and is vibrant in her power, she allows the masculine in. She opens to him, receives him, loves him, and fills his cup. This was experienced more deeply inside the self and mirrored in my partner. What occurred inside, attracted a physical culmination and consummation outside. When we unify this energy in love, it changes the very field and nature of our existence.
Love is the unifying agent of transformation. We are not healing or transcending the dual forces inside us by denying, hating, or over identifying with them. We cannot become whole by side-stepping, forcing, or vilifying. We are expressions of love, and it is in loving and seeing things exactly as they are, that we are better able to right ourselves in this world. Inner stability in love precludes harmony in unity with all.
Reclaiming more of myself allowed me to connect to a higher perspective of who I am beyond these confines. When my energy is not entangled in the opinions and narratives of others, especially those that keep me small, I am able to perceive and conceive further.
My dreams are bringing me to my nature as light. They are helping me understand what I chose here, why I am experienced and perceived in certain ways, and my ability to be unlimited or undefined by either. A new level of joy, prosperity, peace, and possibility has been anchored; we are in the stars as much as we are in the dirt, with no need to reach or seek.
Our sexual energy is our life force is our light. It is a resource that is heavily targeted, harvested, distorted, and misused here. When we energetically rewire our bodies and systems to allow it to flow expansively and lovingly in service to our design and purpose in this life, the potential is limitless.
Humanity is being pushed to its limits and vices to recognize the chains. We are being shown where our energy is being used, manipulated, and sought after for destructive purposes. Will we choose a new template of experience that supersedes aligning to the lesser evil? Will we each do the inner inventory and commit to our mastery, without needing to shame, blame, or take from anyone else to succeed? Can we be honest with ourselves and our relationship to power? Are we looking for clout or power over others, instead of empowering ourselves to live authentically and divinely guided from our own source connection? Does our need to be right overshadow our ability to be compassionate?
What if we forego the current external dilemmas for a bit, and work toward fortifying our inner compass and direction? It’s hard to hear your inner voice, while screaming and competing on the social pulpit. Your life is about you. There are no satisfying answers or saviors outside your creation and purpose. As long as we seek external power, we evade internal peace.
In an unlimited field of energy, we need not be paupers either. We can live spiritually rich and well. We can respect others in their agency and choices without having to feel bad or responsible for them. Energy does not lie or victimize; it manifests in response to matching frequency and similarity. Love allows and affords freedom, knowing things are always balanced out and met accordingly.
What we choose and invest in, we sustain. We are helping create the things we often say we despise through our attention and emotional investment. When we connect and create an exchange, it places us into an agreement and entanglement. We may think we are higher or better, but we are engaged in the same. As we grow in energy awareness and mastery, we are more selective in the things that occupy our space, time, and effort. We refine and focus our energy on the things we wish to create, experience, and embody.
We are being brought to our bondage to break free if we so choose. This can be done in silence. We don’t have to prove anything. We don’t need others to see our progress or our virtue. When we are radically ourselves and embodying our own light, we are not threatened by the changing and conflicting tides of propaganda or opinion. The higher frequency fields are being anchored and implemented on earth through many. Many that won’t seek credit or divulge the details of what’s encountered daily. Many that process energies that are not their own. Many that see and are called into the most horrific things but go on to hold and lever the highest outcome for humanity.
You are one and many, serving the many by mastering the one. To be selfless is not noble if it is done in an effort to escape the responsibility and truth of self. We are ever being called to check ourselves, to balance humility appropriately with love. As we continue to integrate more of our dimensional selves, we must still honor and hold space for the sovereignty and dignity of others in varying stages and phases. If we are consumed and fighting what we think is incompatible with another, we are failing to recognize its resonance with something seeking resolution inside ourselves.
Our sexual energy has been marketed and monetized in ways that decreased its value in the human market of consumption. It has been used to manipulate, dominate, and seduce us into enslavement masked as liberating and empowering practices. We are each being shown our relationship and position in this, and it is for us to decide how we will engage and exchange our sacred currency in the days ahead. We are unlimited in love and more powerful than the systems used to degrade and harness our potential. As our relationship models heal and upgrade to sacred sovereignty and reciprocity, we will have more at our disposal to improve the quality of life on earth for all.
I continue to choose and commit to the path love has set forth in me. I do so unapologetically because it in no way diminishes or harms another, knowingly or unknowingly. Every loss or redirection has only increased the love igniting and flowing through me. I know I am loved and supported, and it is safe to shine my light in a world in transition. I know I am enough and from this love all good things will attract and arise.
I know what I know because I live it.
Love has called on me to embody and put it to practice.
My effort and commitment are met and matched accordingly.
That is enough for me regardless of how it appears to another.
Happy Summer Soul-stice Blessings! May your light become brighter, clearer, and more refined and aligned to your heart’s destiny, and may you find home authentically in you 💞
Sprung Into Solar Fire
May came in with increasing streams of luxurious light. Solar flares are building in waves of illuminating intention and liberation. Even the night skies were expanded with access to aurora activity, inspiring and delighting many all over the world.
Light influxes help us purge blocks of lower frequency stagnation and limitation, to expand and embody more of our higher nature. WE ARE NATURE and need not fear the evolution of our planet and its position in the solar system. We also have kinship with the sun and cosmos. We are light at our core. Our light is intelligent and in sync with the changes underway, despite the ongoing fear propagated in many facets of our cultural constructs.
Our bodies often require rest in response to these events. Our higher mind asks us to surrender old limiting beliefs or attachments. Our hearts seek openings that require feeling and acknowledging what has built up inside us that we set aside to survive. Humanity is transcending foundational narratives. We are going from surviving to thriving in a higher field of experience that recognizes unity as a foundational principle of reality. For this new field of co-creation to be accessed, old survival energies must be sacrificed in the fire.
We are doing this individually and collectively. Because separation is an illusion, it is not necessary for all to expand at the same time. A smaller percentage of individuals accessing and birthing this frequency field on earth can uplift and hold space for many. We are already in sync on a higher level and need only tend to our personal gardens here. We are our purpose; our service arises naturally out of our authenticity.
I often think of awakening as undressing. We are whole in truth. We are simply removing layers of experience where we forgot our nature as the abiding love and source of all creation.
May helped me remove a foundational and ancestral distortion of my experience with men. As typical for me, this was evidenced in part in dreamtime. I had a series of dreams where I was engaging with violent men. In some, I was in relationship out fear and habit. I perceived and experienced my defensive postures and recognized them historically in many relations and situations.
Early experiences in childhood often imprint and condition the body to respond in ways that the mind is unconscious. Early situations of inescapable violation, for example, caused a freeze response to situations of potential harm. The margins of perceived threat widened over time, and the numbing became a state that was normal. As my awareness brought me the origins of this foundational belief, “MAN IS PREDATOR,” my body revealed its correlating stress and defense responses so I could intentionally process and rewire its default settings.
I additionally saw how I inappropriately felt shame and guilt for situations I was literally frozen in while enduring. How I often criticized and blamed myself as a means of expressing anger and frustration that I was unable to communicate externally then. I know my body was just protecting me. I made peace with it and held space for vulnerable and angry versions of myself from various time sequences. This was not as a victim party, but more in the vein of an empowering and liberating homecoming. I understood why I compromised myself in some situations that hurt. I also understood how I misjudged and projected negative assignations to many that were trying to love and connect to me. It was undressing another set of bars in a self-imposed prison.
After working with my psyche and body lovingly, steadily, and intentionally, I was visited by my earth angel Sonny in a dream. We were in a moving vehicle with a few family members, and he was mediating long overdue conversation. In it I was able to express things that I couldn’t as a child. I awoke knowing that this was healing a longstanding issue from my past. As I went into my body therapy in Hotworx, I unlocked the memory of a conversation I had as a child, that impacted me negatively and distorted my ability to be open and trusting with one side of my family. As I laid oracle cards down, I was shown I was healing more facets of my relationship with my masculine aspect.
That encounter was then followed by a house dream. I have written about them many times here, as I am often taken to see “myself” or my physical vehicle in this life in dreams symbolized as my house. What I initially noticed was how different my house was! The house was much brighter and lighter with a strong plant and floral presence. In the past I perceived purging cycles as me cleaning various parts of my house. This house was pretty clean, until I happened upon blood stains in a set of bedsheets. This was a smaller bed, and I knew it was not the one I have now. I began cleaning its trail and was later taken outside my house to see a house across the street where the people involved were waiting. I crossed the divide of the street and peacefully engaged. I woke understanding what was being addressed in me.
The culmination of these events built to a giant physical release and transmutation on the morning of May 18th. I am writing in its wake from a deep gratitude and awe at the spiral of light and all it unleashes in perfect understanding. Love is what awaits the assimilation of old stories, limitations, misunderstandings, and hardships. It’s a relief to let go.
It’s an expansion in joy to forgive.
It’s empowering to explore all of our depths and lovingly own them.
It’s not about who did what, but who we are in the face of everything when the ashes settle. It’s how we rise and respond after.
Once we are freed from lower frequency entanglements of belief, emotion, attachment, and story, we can perceive what we truly are despite our previous notions. We can see beyond the maze of illusion and navigate ourselves away from its snares of entrapment. We know how confusing and dangerous its trenches can be, and we have compassion for those still wandering in the maze. We know we are still wanderers in a new setting, no matter how much we think we have attained. We learn to trust we will know when we need to know, instead of trying to control the game or outcome.
If you have been blessed to have these pivotal shifts while aware of them, you know the road simply goes on. The practical still needs tending. Our bodies need patience, love, and care to transform long-held experiences and settings. Simplicity becomes a treasure. A simple perception shift can change the entire landscape of creation. It is designed to, and the light is facilitating these upgrades on Earth now.
So much of our experience is shaped by story. What stories are you moving forward with? Are you still running outdated stories from the past? Are you living in someone else’s story? Do you know it is possible to create and generate your own stories?
We are born into stories of our birth families, cultures, and sometimes lingering unresolved “past-life” influences. I use that word lightly because of its understood association, but there is really only NOW. The light is helping us resolve old stories to facilitate the birthing of a new phase of peace on Earth. This has been prophesied too, and the light is encouraging us to remember. We must believe peace is possible to invite it into our experience, otherwise we are reinforcing its absence and placing our energy in the conflicts. We must become a home and emissary for it.
There are many still enthralled by stories of conflict. There are core beliefs in old foundations of earth creation like “justice is an eye for an eye,” being worked through for example. We are witnessing a culmination of many conflicting foundations coming up for processing and resolution for a new platform to be available to all. This varies in each person, family, community, culture, religion, country, etc. We are each encouraged to look within. Where are our blind spots? Where do we blame? Where are we carrying dehumanizing or degrading narratives about others? About ourselves? Where are we projecting outward threats or prejudice due to our inner wounding?
If we want a new experience, we must begin by changing our own parameters and settings. It does not matter what others do; we are responsible for ourselves. What world do we wish to create? What will we contribute and demonstrate for our children? We are the creators of our story and our reality. It starts with us.
CREATION IS INNOCENT and we are her children. We are LOVE’s eyes, ears, and arms. How will we wield his power? The light is freeing us of our fight or flight armor and asking us to start living with conscious intention and responsibility. What would LOVE as you create? What would LOVE as you do?
May the light bless and keep you strong in the embrace and evolution of the sun’s glorious gaze!🌞💜
Evoking Eclipse Blessings
April sprung immediately from the rebirth of Easter in the center of an eclipse window. The lunar eclipse on March 25th pulled me out of sleep with my heart pounding. In its wake, I purged more of my heart’s wounding illuminated in detail in my sleep. Many dreams additionally showed me the physical steps that would follow to facilitate the resolution.
In several I was a queen partnered with a king. In one, I was in a time of war advising him to utilize compassion in the face of a threatening revolt. In another I was both an advisor and the queen, and I was performing a scan on my queen self, unveiling puppet strings, boobytraps, attachments, and other negative interfering energies/constructs. This allowed me to then address them physically in the form of blocks, misaligned relationships, and distorted narratives and imprints ready to be released.
I actually felt the shackles and cords surface in my body as they were able to be dismantled. Some of these mechanisms were part of situations I was aware of and working on for some time; some were imprinted from people and situations I would have not perceived harmful. As we expand, we just move beyond perceived limitations. We don’t have to see this as good or bad. We live in constructs of perception and density that allow us to grow through circumstances and experiences catered to our soul’s choices and evolution. We are designed to change stories, boundaries, and experiences. We are here to remember ourselves as unlimited love, and it gets easier as we release judgment.
Whatever we have put off in feeling and acceptance in the way of love eventually comes to call. Our perspective and approach greatly influence how we move through these cycles. If we work with ourselves lovingly and trust our place in life, it is less scary. As we allow ourselves to feel what we may have avoided or forgotten, the charge and reactivity in us diminishes over time. Once emptied and understood, a new choice and outcome become available. We no longer stay looped to the same, reminding and warning ourselves of what we fear will come to pass. We experience ourselves as having been there and done that, no thank you, and no need to repeat. We are wiser and less moved by any resurgence or reminder.
As love in form, we have perceived our separation from source awareness fearfully and painfully at times. When these experiences are compounded in ignorance, we have wounds that are often pervasive and disruptive. We have collectively forgotten our connection to life and our unity with all things. We often focus on our personal trials in a disempowered state, forgetting we are the creators of our reality.
This eclipse window brought me a gallery of experiences that involved different times, scenarios, and players in my life, but as I approached the solar eclipse on April 8th, I was shown they all sprouted from one underlying vein of distortion. Many doctrines refer to this phenomenon as a core wound or core belief. It is an underlying foundational energy that manifests many offshoots of perspective and experience.
I have experienced shame as long as I can remember. It has always been a backdrop of my identity. I can see now how many of my experiences have manifested from this feeling of worthlessness. No matter what I accomplished or was told, I could not connect to the good in me. I could not believe I was loveable. There were early childhood traumas seemingly validating these feelings in my young mind. Knowing they were wrong, doesn’t take away the experience of the feeling.
As I accept and allow this to be a part of my human experience, it has less effect on me. I spent a lot of my younger years running from pain and chasing highs in the external world. Operating from “If I accomplish this, I will have/feel that. If I have this, I will know I am that.” It never came to fruition in the ways I expected or desired of course. Ironically, I am far happier now having explored and embraced the darker depths of myself.
As I have allowed and processed the passage of all pains and negative projections, I know I am love. In my willingness to continually surrender to the greater forces operating in my life, I know I am loved. I realize my ignorance will always sell myself short. My fragmentation will limit my perspective often, but the need to be right can be surrendered too. I can forgive the betrayals or rejections of others, understanding they arose out of this foundational distortion. Ultimately, I come to see this as reflections of self-rejection and betrayal, and endeavor in forgiving myself. I commit to loving and honoring myself more, to re-establish a healthier core setting that shifts my reality over time.
Peace comes from living in unconditional love and awareness of self. What I perceive as disruptive is only reflecting something left unresolved or unexplored in me. If I shift my focus to my inner journey and commit to mastering my energy in all its distortions and contributions, I am less affected by the external instability. I know my job is to stabilize myself as a contribution.
This eclipse passage has helped me close a significant chapter of my past peacefully. I am relieved of thoughts and attachments that once seemed so important and detrimental. I have removed “villain” and “hero” from my story entirely, recognizing they are perspectives that are relative too. I realize the judgments of others were really reflecting my own, and that when I am deeply committed and solid in myself, they lack any power at all. I have reinforced my commitment to myself; I will love and sustain myself so thoroughly that it will be the only reality returned.
This is not done out of selfishness, because I recognize my connection to others and respect their sovereignty. I can love what I don’t agree with or fully understand. I also know I am responsible for my creations and not at the whim of any one else’s version of reality. I am still integrating parts of myself in a new way. Some of these aspects were ostracized and guarded against out of past hurt and fear, some are parts of me in other dimensions. As I prayed during this time, allies came with gifts.
One was a multicolored, iridescent dragon that immediately smoothed out my energy fields and lower four body system. It felt like reflective, rainbow shining layers or coats were painted on parts of me, sealing and protecting me in all dimensions. I was self-contained and sustained in a way, and any conflicting energy sent would be returned in a peaceful manner. The dragon let me know it would help others see their own reflection in me positively and help me move through any outer chaos with ease. I was reminded this is a dragon aspect of me, and that I need to remember the things I often see as higher guidance or beings, are often parts of myself in those dimensions. This is true for all. This is true for the earth energies too. The ocean always laughs at me when I thank her as a separate entity. We are the world.
As humanity evolves, it will transcend its attachment to a polarized and divisive reality. We will go beyond our perceived limitations and fragmentation in recognition of our place in the unified field of creation and awareness. This occurs in each as part of the one. As more choose to forgive and accept any opposition as part of themselves in a field of totality, resistance and conflict will give way to transmutation and transformation. We cannot change or heal what we deny, refuse, or oppose.
Love is encompassing and uplifting. Love is the glue that unites and ignites new creative openings. In love the two come together to create three; the three containing the essence of the two but expanding upon that union to present something of its own.
Love beholds us beyond our wounds of separation. Love knows where we outgrow the limitations in understanding and fear. Love remembers who we are and is patiently waiting for humanity to recognize itself.
When we are at war with ourselves, we are at war with others. When we dehumanize and disregard parts of ourselves, we do it to others. When we forgive ourselves, we do so with others. When we connect to the light in ourselves, we are then able to connect to it in others. We are not limited by any external opinions, judgments, or choices unless we so choose.
Those that fail to see the darkness in themselves, are easily snared by its existence and manipulation in “others.” They are unable to recognize how their wounds are exploited and weaponized. Their uncertainty in themselves perpetuates fear and perceived threats in their external reality. Meet all facets of yourself with acceptance and love. Only then can you truly find peace and compassion in a world in flux. You will then attract and reflect this in your reality and leave everyone to their own beautiful process and purpose. Everyone plays a unique part in the overall tapestry of life.
What humanity needs now is love.
What the world needs now is love.
This eclipse window concludes with a new moon, inviting us to start a new chapter in life in some way. What if we intend to create a reality based on love? What if we choose love as our guiding force and principle? Can we simply invite it, remember it, recover it, discover it, embrace it, breathe it, be it, and live it as ourselves?
New ways are being implemented now to transcend the stagnation and conflicts of old. Can LOVE find its home and ally in you?
Marching Into Spring
Spring cleaning came early for me. As I continued with my daily prayer procession, I increasingly made space inside for more of my authentic self to return. This showed up in so many ways inside and out; divine flow expanding in me, resulting in ease and flow in external relations and situations that had experienced periods of slight stagnancy or confusion.
More are awakening to the external illusions underpinning the old earth reality. This is a natural process that coincides with the illusions being unmasked and processed inside the self.
As we return to a state of sacred remembrance and embodiment, we live from a place of wholeness and peace inside that directs and manifests our outer experiences. Our true state knows our inherent worth. Our true state knows and respects the sovereignty and soul assignments of others. Our true state knows love as the true reality and isn’t disturbed by the purging reactions or distortions in others. Our true state knows heaven is not a myth or a place separate from us.
As parts of our collective world adjust, we are increasingly pushed back to ourselves. We can no longer mistakenly identify and qualify ourselves through outer filters and formulas. We are not limited or determined by labels, qualifications, narratives, or opinions. We are awakening to our true nature as LOVE. Love at the highest frequency knows no boundaries or conditions where it does not exist. It is ALL.
Spring facilitates our rebirth. It is a celebration of our transcendence of death. What we have lost, or laid waste provides a fertile ground for a new aspect or level to arise. In truth it was surrendered into the greater field of potential; it lives on as a hardwired wisdom etched in our bones. We realize we are more, not less in its resignation and assimilation. We understand sacrifices can be labors of love, and sadness fuel for an abiding joy. Once we know what we know we can never turn back, but we can perceive it differently over time.
In my experience, rebirth comes in tandem with refinement. I am consistently reminded that I have a responsibility for my overall space. As I am relieved of any outlived or undigested weight I’ve carried in thought and emotion, I am still called to be vigilant in maintaining a new focus and feed. Shifting energy changes things on a fundamental level, but we can be creatures of habit. If I continue to entertain draining and conflicting concepts, stories, and relationships, I will be the one wasting energy and holding myself back.
Sometimes what is old is comfortable even when painful. Sometimes it is brought around to us again and again to address various layers of understanding in it. Sometimes it comes back as an opportunity to choose better. Sometimes it stirs up subconscious links we were not even aware are there. Whatever surfaces, it is always an opportunity to take ownership and agency in what we can offer ourselves. No matter how painful the event, we have the ability to wield our power toward a higher outcome for ourselves. Freedom is an inside job first and foremost; we must work on the etheric planes of creation in ourselves before we effectively shift the outer manifestation.
Prayers bring us to that plane, and regular practice builds a momentum over time that becomes a second skin. Our thoughts are powerful, but they are also habitual and conditional. We are influenced in many dimensions of belief and experience. To break free, it takes consistent effort and commitment to reshape some of our formative tenets of reality. It all starts will our will.
Many are too busy taking in data and stimulation to observe what is really running in their system that is fueling their creations and experiences. Most believe themselves to be a victim of their realities, assigning their life’s events to a higher deity or evil counterforce. This fractures potency and defers responsibility. This allows some to manipulate and capitalize off of the ignorant and martyrized mindsets of others. It has encouraged us to think less of ourselves and accept deplorable treatment as a consequence of humanity’s “real” nature. This then becomes evidence of life’s cruelty.
What of our higher nature? What of the beauty in a flower, the generosity of an ocean, or the fertility of a forest?
Are we not all of it? If we keep reinforcing that virtuous qualities are only for the gods, won’t we only perpetuate a world at war and suffering? Will waiting for a super savior truly offer us the best chances we have for humanity to take its leap in evolution and grace?
Forgiveness is a virtue, an act, a discipline, a frequency, a concept, and a road. The same goes for kindness, for generosity, compassion, peace, and love…. All facets of love are part of our nature, but when we’ve forgotten and been misled to believe otherwise, they must be invited, reimagined, welcomed, and attempted again and again until they are the driving force and foundation of our experiences and creations. We must dedicate ourselves as we do to other subjects of learning, career, or lifestyle commitments. I have often heard people say, “I know I should forgive but I just can’t.” This is then followed by complaining about hating their job and its requirements but having to do it anyway—knowing they shouldn’t drink but doing it anyway—knowing they are in a bad relationship but staying anyway…. The will is always there to remain the same, despite any resulting pain or shame.
As we rebirth ourselves in new potential and awareness, we must be diligent in our responsibilities to uphold a higher field of creation. We must approach ourselves as our purpose, and our mastery as our highest job and service. As we embody more of our light, we hold a higher sense of responsibility. As we perceive the effects of negative projections and reactions, we know they are not something we wish to engage in ourselves. We understand the weight of our contributions and must let go of things that disrupt the foundation we have worked hard to build. We can discern distractions without emotional charge, and simply leave them starved and unactive in our lives.
Love does not communicate in judgment. Love is unconditional. Love utilizes patterns and boundaries to create form, and changes expressions ongoing to enhance experience and perception. Any doctrine shaming, manipulating, censoring, or enforcing its will on another is not communicating love. Love underlies all form, regardless of where it lies on the spectrum of duality. The pendulum can swing in complexity away from its center, but it is still existing in the same field. Extremes on either side eventually meet in likeness. We can perceive this easier from the center, than being caught in the entanglement of a more polarized edge.
As we grow in our mastery, it is wise to remain humble in our estimation of things. A planet in an evolutionary ascension cycle, is processing the energy of many lifetimes of karmic experience and interference. As we attempt to make sense of things outside of us, the energy, and its relevance to the collective changes. With so much shifting, our best path forward is grounding our higher self in every aspect of our lives. That takes ongoing honesty, scrutiny, devotion, and ownership of our energy, no matter what outside stimulus seems to trigger us. We are reinstating our creative ability consciously, and that comes with accountability and awareness of our activity in many dimensions of existence.
Dreamers of a new world are present with what is playing out in many realities but are exclusively interested and focused on one. Our greatest contribution comes from our own divine empowerment and embodiment. From this place we are uplifting and birthing what’s possible not plausible. We are not giving our power away to a super villain, a political party, or a prophecy. World shifts are facilitated by many, but the many reflect the one. Many can deny, abuse, misuse, and refuse to accept the ONE, but that only reinforces the illusions and effects of their position in them. It does not negate the underlying truth of reality. All come home to oneness eventually, and there are many roads. We are here to master and restore our own.
As old energy moves through us, it can encourage us to be reactive and emotional. We can perceive situations through mistrusting eyes and exaggerated perceptions, triggering defensive posturing that is at first unconscious to us. As we become aware of our patterns, we learn that they simply require space and acceptance. Our loving attention does a lot to help us process things from a higher and safer vantage point. If we can understand that everyone is in their own version of reality and take it less personally, we stop waging war with any opposition and lean more into what we are trying to achieve in ourselves in the face of it. Anything disrupting our personal peace, has an opening or unrecognized culprit inside. As we deal with these aspects inside us, we align with more opportunities and choices to create peace externally.
March is bringing us into an eclipse window that is highlighting and settling some imbalances. They won’t necessarily be new to our awareness, but they are an opportunity to double down on ourselves. Can we be honest with ourselves in where we place blame, or allow ourselves to be sold short? Can we free ourselves of old obligations and power struggles that no longer serve us? Can we balance the duality inside ourselves, and upgrade any outworn toxic patterns or expressions in ourselves? Toxic relationship expressions and patterns have been surfacing for some time on earth, allowing a new connection and union to be anchored within and without. If we are only focused on battling the outer distortions of polarity in society, we are missing the opportunity to address what is trying to harmonize and heal inside.
We are most effective in contributing to the greater good from a position of wellness. From this place we cannot be bought or sold. We are not willing to compromise or villainize another for personal gain. We are not compelled to take sides and disregard the value of others because of difference in belief. We recognize the bias and limitations that come with the parameters of conditioning and sensory restriction of a physical body. We also know we can go beyond theses confines, and remain open to our role in the changing tides.
Fear is being processed out of the human experience via an ongoing surge cycle of universal love. This is highlighting its signature in all of our beliefs, narratives, systems, and creations. We are purging and rewiring our systems to create from higher octaves of love. We will face and transcend our darkness and unconscious to know our light. It is in accepting not rejecting, that we come to our truth and our ability to then choose a new response. We can no longer deny our relationship to the troubles plaguing our world. We can no longer defer the blame or responsibility to another. We have an opportunity now, to create and relate out of unity. We can be peace in the face of chaos and conflict, not by shaming or “righting” a side, but by birthing and offering something beyond it.
There is a dimension and frequency where this all comes together. As more parts connect to that possibility, the availability and pull becomes stronger for others to join. Love is the universal force of creation, but it doesn’t force compliance or recognition. Love abides and provides freedom of expression and exploration. Distortions exhaust themselves from lack of alignment and authenticity in source connection eventually. They only exist because of our ongoing attention and energetic support. As we withdraw our connection, they lose power. Everyone is waking up to their part in this, and everyone is addressing their own karmic history in relation to creation here. There is a unique timing and position unfolding for each that is best served by each focusing on their own part.
This spring ask yourself, “What world would I like to live in?” “What world would I want to leave my children?” “What can I do to contribute to that vision?”
New creations and experiences require new expressions, actions, and contributions. We are not here to fix the old or the collective; we are here to live our part authentically. All that arises from that alignment fulfills its purpose naturally. Our hearts remember our purpose, and our hearts are connected to the unified field. Through them we bridge the opportunity to build back better. We know where we’ve been, but it’s time to demonstrate what is possible now.
I hope your Easter and equinox season offer you grand opportunities and openings for rebirth and refinement! Happy rising! 💜🐣💐
A Procession of Prayer
As Mars and Venus came together recently in the cosmos, I began processing unresolved masculine pain physically. I have been healing, balancing, and upgrading the masculine and feminine in me for a long time. I wrote about the replacing of my toxic masculine prototype in my book TRUE LOVE NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIES. The beginning of the process was signaled in a dream, where I experienced many of my incarnations of struggle with men, and I held his archetypal form as he died in my arms. I understood what was unfolding, and watched my relationship with my husband heal ongoing to reflect these upgrades in me.
We continue to grow together, but the last two years have shifted my focus on the distorted feminine. She was disempowered, she was the “wounded victim,” she was angry, she was betrayed, she was jealous, and she was in competition with others while starved for nurturance. After many trials and consistent effort, I was blessed again in my dreamtime to hold two of her most painful symbolic representations as they died. These shifts cost me some relationships in physical life, but they have led to great liberation and peace inside.
These transitions are done with love, in a willingness to anchor new templates of creation and pathways of relationship on earth. Our imbalances and misunderstandings have led to great hardship. People are at odds with themselves and each other; over-complicating, over-identifying, and over-focusing on sexuality and gender, in ways that allow for mass abuse, manipulation, and trauma to be normalized.
As I deepen my relationship with myself and my ancestral inheritance, I realize how much we are carrying forward the burdens, pain, and unfinished longings of our elders. We need only recognize this in ourselves to set forth change in the lineal chain. We all carry masculine and feminine inside; our outer expression is a designed technology serving our purpose in this life. Our bodies work with us in our explorations and expansions when we recognize their capacity to do so. They are always working to achieve harmony and health, but will go according to the current settings, operating system, and environment. Change and redirection in these factors, encourages change in the form.
What we tell ourselves, what we believe, what we take in, and what we do, are all part of the settings. Our old worldview believed that we are at the whim of our genetics, but modern science is proving factors like positive or negative thinking, affects and changes them. Our world is expanding, and this will allow us to expand our archetypal and physical realm of experience and possibility.
As I began processing masculine pain, I felt HIS longing for nurturance and acceptance too. HE has suffered in the imbalance and is weary of conflict. He mourns his traditional roles being warped and misunderstood. As I cried in pain on my right breast, I was visited by a medieval knight in chainmail armor. He too was crying, and approached my chest to find a lock with a thick chain, attached to a metal breast plate covering that side of my chest. He went at the lock with force and opened it, removing the entire construct. I felt immediate relief and hugged him. I thanked him for protecting me all those years. I relieved him from his post and sent him to my heart for respite. He was truly tired of war and the vigilance and dissonance it required. I realized how much we relied upon the masculine to fulfill these roles, and then attacked them for the consequential effects that evidenced in them over time.
After that ceremony I noticed new sensations and feeling adjusting in both breasts as a result. My right back was moving tension, my breasts and nipples tender and sore. What we do intentionally in spirit affects our physical manifestation. If you work with your body this way, you can experience this for yourself. I also noticed a cramp in my left ovary that surfaced. When I connected to it, it said it was a STICKING POINT in my female line. There is a feminine energy holding itself back from the masculine, wanting HIS acknowledgment and experience of HER pain. It was not quite revenge; they spoke that they want HIM to “get it.” There is a mistrust because of feelings of violation. I surrendered my part in the ceremony, but it remained a little sore. I was told to enfold it in love and allow that to create safety and nurturance over time. The last thing I want to do is push or force aspects that have already been hurt that way. I speak lovingly to them, and am respectful of their timing and experiences. The energy shifted in two days.
That night my dreams took me to many underlying trapped feelings that were moving out. I was guided to another prayer ceremony when I woke. I used to do them as part of my daily practice at home, at my favorite places in nature, and in all the many of the places I visited. They always grounded me in joy and optimism that I was able to then share. There is a part of every one of us that loves acts of devotion. We see this played out in so many ways. Life is spirit, and everything is spiritual and sacred; we do not need to limit devotion to religion. We were trained to see the separation, which added to our perceived loss of spiritual connection and magic in our daily operations.
Prayer is our love language with creation. It is an interfacing with our universe, our source, our reality, and ourselves in many dimensions and expressions. There is a part of us united to all. We are no stranger to love or its alchemical forces. When we set forth an intention, an inquiry, or a possibility, we are always met with a response. We will see it as much as we are open to receiving it. Prayer is an act of love and devotion. My meditative walks are prayers; my prayer ceremonies are changing and fluid. I may speak, dance, sing, and make offerings; I may do them in a natural setting on the move. I allow other benevolent energies to join me in their offerings. Life is full of allies and expressions ready to help. What they can do and how they help is as diverse as what we see in form here.
In the ceremony with the knight, Eagle came too. He was flying high and assisting me in the implementation of higher thought forms and templates. He reminds me not to get entangled in the emotional dross that’s purging and dying. I left the ceremony to walk on the lakefront and an eagle showed up there to fly overhead. I later received confirmation from two friends that I prayed for, that he had visited them. One sent me an eagle meme she came across that inspired and validated what she was going through. Another had an eagle prince in a dream that helped her resolve an old attachment issue she struggled to make sense of prior. Eagle made his rounds further; I have no doubt. We can’t always see the total effect of the ripples we send out, but the act is most beneficial when not attached to a specific outcome. Our souls are anchored in trust, and as we deepen our devotion, we are too.
The next prayer portal brought in new energies and emissaries. One was an ancestor from India. He brought through a transmission to clear the perversions of suffering in devotion. This distortion has tainted all faiths, has infiltrated personal relationships, and has encouraged an addiction and worship of suffering that is falsely celebrated as honor. He gave me the expression “DEPRIVATION IS ILLUMINATION,” and if you think on this, you can see how this is a thread that has been woven into many earth tapestries of belief, religious, and authoritative systems.
The subversion of the feminine in these systems is part of this concept, as is the worship of an enlightened one, a guru, a pope, etc, where followers are encouraged to sacrifice and donate their energy to uplift another or receive favor. Rejection of the material, believing God can only come to those in a position of extreme humility, or the toxic relationship where one suffers for another believing it is how they prove their love, are a few examples. We have created badges of suffering to flex in the era of virtue signaling. If we open our eyes to this core distorted belief, we can see its offspring in many things. Ask yourself, how does this energy or idea land in you? Are you comfortable in owning your divine birthright or power? Is there a part of you that believes you can’t have too much, be too much, or that you must prove yourself to receive divine love? These things are subtle until you get beneath the surface and follow the thread. Talk to yourself and your world, and let prayer help you highlight your threads.
Suffering is a part of life, to deny its existence is delusional. As we have evolved on earth through the experience of separation and duality, we have accrued many misunderstandings and struggles that got compounded and distorted further over time. We have forgotten who we are, but that does not change the true nature of who we are. Our pockets of amnesia, trials, and fears are the energies we must face and traverse through to access our truth.
Our suffering can show us a path to inner liberation, but it is not a mandatory lifestyle to earn wings to heaven. My ancestor made it clear that humanity has gotten away from wisdom into the worship of struggle and violence as noble. This has allowed most to grow further from the higher frequencies of light and remembrance. Whatever it looks like on the surface, love is the true nature of life. To seek this part of yourself, you can simply choose love. You can shine love into your suffering without loving or inflating suffering as a badge of honor. You are more than your suffering and not defined by any physical labels, experiences, or limitations.
I pulled a few cards for my prayer altar as guided: one for the FEMININE, one for the MASCULINE, with a shared union card from the Magical Dimensions Oracle Deck. The card of union was DESTINY. It relates to living our authentic purpose and is associated with a forest rose ray of light.
As I brought my prayer into physical exercise at HOTWORX, I was visited by a beautiful pink fairy bestowing a mauve pink light. I felt it enter my root energy center at my bottom while I was seated. I then experienced a variety of wildflowers rise, grow, and bloom out of that center up through my entire body. At my heart, was a rose in bloom. As this was unfolding, I was filled with the natural bliss and peace of existence. There is an elemental joy in being alive; an inherent joy that celebrates and adores creation.
Devotion is a natural state. I was filled with a deep knowing that we are our purpose. When we live authentically, everything we do is fulfilling our destiny. When we love something, it may inspire us to sacrifice something in the spirit of giving, but true giving and sacrifice is an offering of love not suffering. True giving is from a flowing well, not an obligation of limitation or reciprocation.
Unconditional love is what connects us all. When we share our flow with another, we are more not less. Devotional practices and attitudes must be updated to reflect our true heritage and energetic existence. The beautiful prayer transmissions reminded me of how powerful it is to be on the receiving end of love. It inspired me to ask, what is possible if everyone engaged daily in a devotional practice with the earth? A true loving exchange, not a practice from the place of an empty well in need of salvation or redemption, but more of a conversation between two lovers, or a bee’s revel in a flower. What if we all offer adoration and devotion to the earth herself, via our immediate landscapes? What if we love her as a sovereign and sentient being, not from a position of worry or fear, scarcity, or superiority? What if we relate to her instead, in the spirit of acknowledgement and gratitude. We are not here to dominate and control nature, we are in an interdependent loving relationship and kinship.
As if in response to that sentiment, my ceremony this morning followed that thread. It started with an emotional full moon release of sorrow. As I opened ceremony, I was brought to address the wound of rejection. As I sang prayers of forgiveness and peace, I had a new visitor. It is common for me to sit with the Earth as a woman during my meditative journeys. She is always with me, sometimes showing up in various phases of her growth and changes.
Today as she and I were singing, we were joined by her beloved masculine aspect FATHER EARTH. I was ecstatic! This has never happened, even though I am fully aware of addressing the duality in all things on earth. His arrival brought many tears of gratitude and a feeling of wholeness. I had dreamt last week of preparing my home for a wedding. I saw myself create an altar, and the dawning arrived that a sacred marriage is underway. He landed with a heat in the body and a passion to be present. I was guided to surrender and clear old collective narratives about the earth and her enslavement. He confirmed what she has always told me prior; the earth is a sentient sovereign being in a cycle of growth and transformation. She does not need our pity, fear, guilt, or shame. She wants love, respect, and allies that support her process. We are rising together. Our mastery of ourselves and our energy contribution, is a great service to her. Right action naturally follows right alignment. As the frequency of love rises on earth, restoration is an organic outcome. We are vessels of this change, so our commitment to divine alignment and embodiment is what helps facilitate this on earth. We are not separate.
My exchanges with earth and nature have been joyous and mutualistic on my path of love. In light of the intensity of the times, I am re-engaging in my daily offerings of formal ceremony and prayer. I don’t need anything. I don’t want anything. I am simply a lover and admirer of life in all its expressions. I know I am here to walk with love, and it is my sincerest hope that love and peace become the reality in which we all live on earth. There are many paths of wisdom and expressions of devotion. I invite you to celebrate yours, and to offer it to everything you meet. Share it with the passions closest to your heart. Let it light up your part of the tapestry here on earth.
Imagine what’s possible when Earth and her children create and live from a place of wholeness. We can give and live from that dream now. Let your vessel be a house of joy. Let yourself explore. Let what delights you change. Let it move. Let it grow. Then let it go. Release it into your world and watch it transform as you do. Love is our ultimate destiny, and we are closing in on the illusory gap.
Share your heart, share your voice, share your joy, share your dreams! We are called to create change, not reinforce same I love you 🌹🕊
Happy Full Moon in Virgo! 🌝💙
The Dawning of Aquarius
A flow state of creation and being is more accessible now on earth. Physical upgrades force many to slow down, disrupting reliance on former schedules, activities, and old ways of attempting to seek security inside via controlling outer circumstances. We are continuously being brought back to ourselves; where selfcare is not a prioritized practice, it becomes a necessity.
If we still tell ourselves we are victims of our environment, we experience these physical episodes as illness, something wrong, or the product of something we accept as a scapegoat, i.e. leaked virus, climate crisis, bad genetics, toxic food industry, AI interference, satanic influence, fill in the blank with the current dystopian trend. We all have a rabbit hole, but as we go deeper into it, we will always find ourselves at the other end. You will believe and perceive according to the story you choose, what is truly your story?
Humanity and all life on earth are in a cauldron of expansion. The heat, the storms, the reckoning, and revolution are necessary to transcend the previous confines. As a collective we are called to remember our responsibility as co-creators and contributors to our life on earth. As individuals we can only take our proper place when we do this for ourselves. This means we must be diligent in our commitment to our freedom, our values, and our alignment. Nature always reminds me of its sovereignty and majesty when we communicate; we need only reclaim ours.
The universe and ALL its elements are part of this shift. There is no separation. When we surrender to the higher design and implementation unfolding and allow our higher faculties to come online to guide us, we will not be disrupted by any lower fear narrative playing out. We instead, join the energy where the solution lies. We live, choose, and act from this aligned position, connecting to others creating new openings and outcomes. We trust in the love sustaining all; allowing all expressions to play their part and grow according to their perfect process and timing. We know the Earth has her agency and evolution, one that we are not here to dominate or harness.
What can we truly offer her but the best version of ourselves? In the age of transparency and unlimited information, we are encouraged to seek truth and foundations that support where we want to go. This requires us to take personal inventory. We all inherit fears, grievances, wounds, prejudices, and dispositions that are limiting, restrictive, and harmful to ourselves and others. For me, I often receive deeper layers of these influences in my dreams.
This week I experienced myself in scenarios of lies and betrayal, of abuse and neglect, and of conflict and persecution. I found some of the characters were flat, stereotypical representations of male and female. I was able to see where gender roles were clearly assigned to certain types of problems. Men were typically the aggressors, for example. I am led through symbolic scenarios in my dreams and then physical reality often, to help me understand what is shifting in me, my body, my relationships, my lineages, and in the collective.
The last two days illustrated this perfectly. I woke yesterday from a dream where I was in a stressful situation. A party I attended was not what I thought it would be, and my partner was engaging in things that were hurtful and neglectful of me. I was afraid and going along despite what I wanted. I could feel emotions and energies in my heart stirred up as I came out of it, and realized it was layered with some of my personal experiences, but it was also symbolic of energies experienced by many women in my family. My partner was a generic representation and projection of MAN. He was the perceived villain in many women’s stories, losing his heart, his humanity, and his individuality as time went on. Many women stopped seeing him, and only saw what they feared and felt in the pain and expectations inherited. I had unconsciously played this out too for years, and it was because of my direct experience of it that I was able to shift its energy in a larger way. Our healing is like ripples in an ocean, or as it is sometimes shown to me, a lightning running through a quantum web or tree.
I spoke intentions and engaged in an energetic clearing and resolution. I then went to physical exercise and implementation. I felt a lightness ensue after, but as evening rolled around the fire alarms went off in my house without provocation. I thoroughly checked all areas of my home and there was no evidence of fire or gas. I sensed the alarm that was the issue, and when I pressed the button, it silenced all temporarily. I did this multiple times with no lasting success for half an hour. I then started to feel my nervous system get amped and anxious. I knew there wasn’t a problem, but my body was still responding to the stimulus. I decided I would get help and called the fire dept to make sure there was nothing wrong. They discovered an issue with the same alarm I was focusing on and dismantled it.
I went to bed exhausted, stepping into more of my internal alarm system in dreams. This time it wasn’t about a partner. I was brought to a school ground that I was researching for my children. In my exploration, I encountered a building where young children and animals were being housed. They were left without adult supervision, fending for themselves. I was upset and worried for them, but when staff came in, I was in trouble for being in an unapproved area. I saw school staff enter and coral the children into uniforms, order, and an organized formation to leave the building. The children had an empty look, and I wondered what happened there to achieve a submission like that with such young children.
I then set off through a swampy landscape with baby hippos and was confronted by a young man. He kept arguing and challenging me, ignoring my requests that he leave. After being pursued for a time, I had enough and physically pushed him away. When I made it to the school office, that man was there and had reported me. There was a panel of men waiting and accusing me. I spoke my truth, but they were not open to my side, or understanding of my situation. I woke with feelings of frustration, in anticipation of judgment and punishment. I felt deeply that the system was set up for me to fail, and that justice was unattainable.
I again went to my healing practices to shift these energies and templates inside me. I knew a significant portion of my defense and protection mechanisms were surfacing for me to surrender them. If I am to have a new experience in my relationships, like deeper trust, intimacy, passion, and connection, then I must remove the outdated filters and barriers in the way. These show up physically in me as fight or flight responses to new circumstances, blocks to feeling or vulnerability, and even hard tissue in my breast. As I address the energetic roots, I feel the openness, sensitivity, and softness more in the physical. I unlocked much in these 2 nights, and as I embody more of myself, I naturally feel safer in all facets and settings of life.
As we reclaim parts of ourselves that were rejected, hurt, lost, or abandoned in love, we are naturally uplifted and protected by our rise in frequency and light quotient. I find that healing and reclaiming parts of me in lower frequency experiences, correlate to restoring higher dimensional aspects of me as well. As I cried to release trapped energy that was tied to these last dream sequences, I was comforted by a star mother of an indigo blue light. She was robed with the star-studded darkness of space itself. She placed her luminous hand on my heart to help my process. I felt intense love in our connection, and awareness that she is me in another realm of experience. I have been receiving tingling adjustments in my body since she has come on board, and I know myself to be in a new configuration. When we allow our encounters and assistance to be real, instead of trying to figure it out in our minds, we have a smoother journey.
We are then creating and perceiving from a higher vibration, attracting healthier versions or reflections of the changes we make. Love is calling us to ground new pathways of possibility in unity. As we release others from being the validation or villain in our stories, we connect to those that compliment us. We take ownership of ourselves instead of expecting others to correct or complete us. The healthy in “us” supports and encourages the healthy in all, and higher opportunities, actions, and creations naturally arise from this space of elevated collaboration.
As we approach the first new moon in Aquarius, what are we envisioning for ourselves, our families, our communities, our planet, and our galactic connection? Can we see ourselves in the bigger picture? Can we trust our place in the universe, understanding that changes in the sun, lead to changes on earth, leading to changes in all of life on earth? Can we see what is breaking down, is allowing a break through?
What do we know about change? Haven’t we consistently seen transformation being facilitated by elements like heat and light, sometimes intensely and destructively to achieve something new? We are no stranger to life’s cycles and processes, no stranger to death as a transitional agent. Love knows where it seeks to expand, where it seeks to be empowered, and where it thrives in united intention and effort. What will you facilitate for love in the age of Aquarius? We are dropping the baggage that weighs our rocket ship down and embracing our divine technology as a path forward.
On this new moon, aim higher. It is time to reach for and reconvene with the stars. You are more than you realize!
Happy New Moon in Aquarius 🦋🌚🌹
Living the Dream 2024
This holiday season provided me with periods of intense physical transmutation, requiring rest and surrender. I slowed down and simplified when prompted, and found my moments filled with a deep appreciation and gratitude for what has remained loving and supportive in my life. The new year still felt like it occurred in a holding pen of sorts. I was sloughing off layers of past emotional debris, while gaining increasing clarity on my position and foundation in a higher frequency field.
As I doubled down on my commitment and worked to clear things on all levels, I received small reminders and openings to take steps toward my upgraded vision. Death and elimination are part of creation. We are often called to make room in ourselves and our space to allow for new things to blossom. Pruning is part of life; not all thoughts, behaviors, beliefs, relationships, and choices support our destiny for this lifetime.
As the surges of galactic light continue to transmute the heaviness on the planet, we become more aware of our existence in multiple levels and dimensions of consciousness. Consequently, we then become more effective in balancing and shaping our experiences and creations. We become less attached to fixed thought forms, and more present with our well-being on all fronts: mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. We are energy in form, attracting our experiences in likeness; therefore, we learn to become more selective of the energies we entertain, consume, and align.
The next phase of evolution requires humanity to assume its proper place in the unified field of love. Humanity will expand beyond its perceived limitations of separation, lack, and domination, to restore its kinship and connection to the unlimited source of life in all its expressions. Where we close off from love and each other, we close off from solutions existing at a higher resonance of wellness and wholeness. We understand that the outcome and state of something, is dependent on the success, health, and integrity of all its elements.
To get there, we must shed our blocks, lies, fears, defenses, and barriers to oneness. This occurs both inside of us, and collectively in all group consciousness fields of organization and identification. In addressing these thresholds, we don’t have to diminish or negate their validity. Love is enhanced and enriched by its various expressions, not diluted or divided in truth—EVER.
The surface chaos we see on the world stage is evidence of all past stories, distortions, and traumas being cleared from our systems. What appears to be a resurgence is the necessary processing of past experiences that allows for a higher understanding and perspective to be achieved. Clarity comes from energetically releasing lower, denser mental and emotional residue. It’s a physical process, and often a confusing and frustrating one. Everyone is in a unique position, which is why some people cannot assimilate information that is obvious to others. We relate according to our position of perception, and level of divine embodiment. As we dispel our inner shadows in the presence of our light, we are unencumbered by the same shadows present in others. We allow them the freedom and right to enact their own resolution and timing, knowing we are not victimized in any way by their position unless we give our power to them.
If we consciously face and address our own fears and defense mechanisms, we easily recognize them in others and learn to take people’s reactions less personally. We understand our position of power is always in our personal landscape. Mastering our inner nature is a fulltime job. We are only tasked with assuming our power responsibly and creatively. We are not here to force change on others, in judgment or blame. Most in opposition to us, will be unable to perceive us through their blocks and opinions. Our power is recognizing and mastering our own.
We all have inherited prejudices and preferences; thoughts via ideas, judgments, and beliefs create patterns and frameworks for creation to take shape. Structures are necessary, but they are also malleable. Everything is subject to change and in a constant state of expansion and contraction ongoing.
As expressions of source energy, we are imbued with inherent gifts and magic. If we are not open to this truth, and we reinforce beliefs that degrade our position, we will not connect to the potential.
What do you know to be true? Your whole life’s circumstances are reflecting that back to you. Can you perceive that we are running many realities and frequencies on earth? Are you entraining your energy to someone else’s version of reality? We have been conditioned to do this…. To believe there is one way that is right to live, one religion that is right to give credence to, one version of history that is to be validated by the “winner” or arbitrator of the most resources. How much power are you giving away to support these claims? How much truth are you not able to see in others because of these settings? How much peace do you forfeit?
As a collective we are in the process of birthing a new reality. Instead of identifying with our baser nature, and reinforcing our identities through old grievances, survival competition, and hierarchal differences, we are invited to create a new story. We are urged to connect to the higher reality in LOVE where we are already together. We are encouraged to be forgiving of our missteps and blind spots, recognizing they were part of our human experience in ignorance and lower frequency subjugation. We are not who we thought we were; we have been convinced of our unworthiness for so long, that we don’t even question it.
It takes time to detox the distortions out of our system. We don’t feel safe at first. Our authority structures use this to maintain our compliance. Violence and worst-case scenarios are streaming through every platform. They need us to believe and participate energetically to maintain it. Are you interested in repeating history, or are you here to innovate a higher possibility?
New eras rely on visionaries willing to see beyond the current situation. We are not here to fix yesterday’s problems; as new age space holders, we are here to implement new ways of being that lie beyond the current divisive constraints of the problem. As divine emissaries of light, we don’t need to figure it all out with our minds. We have faith in the design and current of divine flow. We embody the higher potentiality and radiate it. We allow our energy to attract and organize the physical circumstances appropriate for our part. We do not create by controlling or forcing. We manage our energy and trust it to attract accordingly. Love is naturally intelligent and self-organizing. We are often simply surrendering our dependency on our minds, and how we think things should happen or be. This allows our results to bypass the mental limitations we’ve stored from past experiences, manifesting a new outcome.
If we want to establish peace, then we prioritize peace in ourselves first. We won’t create peace while we blame, shame, or wage war with anyone, including ourselves. We won’t promote peace successfully, while we worship a vengeful god that persecutes, judges, and loves conditionally. If we truly want to improve the quality of life for all on the planet, we will retire our allegiance to harmful doctrine and practices. We will focus our efforts on the world we know is possible in our hearts, and LIVE it. Visionaries are not here to validate what worked before; they are here to bring us where we haven’t been.
We have the technology to improve the quality of all life, we just haven’t fully committed to aligning to the LOVE that exists beyond all differences. Until we love ourselves unconditionally and bring peace to the paradoxical parts inside ourselves with radical honesty and forgiveness, we will continue to deny the sanctity of some. If we can’t accept our own worth and offer ourselves the patience and love necessary to grow into a new version of ourselves, we won’t be able to offer it to others. Where we hold ourselves back in judgment and intolerance, we remain chained.
As a new year and new karmic cycle came in, I have been reminded to focus exclusively on what I want to experience in my life. The past is gone. I am guided to take ownership and responsibility for my creation; to check in on all levels of my system ensuring they are in balance and harmony. All levels must be in alignment and integrity with who I authentically am and my purpose. On a basic level my purpose is my wellbeing. I do not have to do anything to be loved or valued. I am love. As love, I check in on the health of my creations and experiences:
Are the thoughts and stories I am energizing, positive to my health and highest good? Positive to the earth and my direct surroundings?
Am I emotionally aware and intelligent? Do I allow my emotions to flow? Do they enrich my life and my relationships, or do they rule and ruin my mood in a volatile fashion? Do I mind my vibration? Protecting my peace and choosing to cultivate the feelings I wish to experience?
Do I take care of my body? Do I respect its needs or override them to my detriment?
Am I living a spirit-led life? Am I creating and engaging in things that are meaningful, complimentary, and productive to my spirit? Am I connecting to surface or soul? Soul will always steer me from things that harm me in any way, that don’t respect my time or value. I know that prioritizing soul, naturally honors the other parts of me securing me in an earthly existence. Spirit LOVES me unconditionally and will ask me to move beyond my limits, but LOVE will never ask me to compromise myself in harmful sacrifices or punishments.
I am assured I can trust the foundation I have rebuilt through love. I am not alone, and I am always assisted in my guided endeavors. As I have increasingly embodied more of my TRUE LOVE, I am no longer looking to create reactively according to outer circumstances. I set the tone, and I seek my guidance from within. My path may not be understood or approved by everyone, but it is for me to live. I could not have gotten here following any outside directives. I know what is for me is mine, and in no way impedes or diminishes what is good for another. I have come to love and value myself authentically and unapologetically; and I sincerely hope to see everyone do this for themselves in their own way. It is joy to know yourself and live your purpose. As I cultivate this joy, I radiate and encounter it everywhere I go.
It is part of my focus for 2024, to awaken and inspire more love in all levels of life on earth. As our past is cleared from our cellular memory, may we remember ourselves as the LOVE in which all form resides, and all dreams are made possible. May we LIVE the dream we wish to see manifest in the world. I wish you a restorative and magical new year!
I would love to hear about your holiday experience. Are you living your dream? What is your focus for the new karmic cycle? What are you willing to create and facilitate in 2024 as LOVE?
A Procession of Peace
November felt like a field of peace that landed to hold space for a funeral procession. October’s death march (detailed in last month’s blog) allowed for the peace to arrive, but in November, anything lingering in feeling or thought that was attached to my past aspects moved out in accordance. My dreams were vivid and active, bringing me to close out subconscious files that allowed more of my energy to shift to the present.
As I explored various dimensions of consciousness, I realized how much we exist in many “places” at once; I also realized how incorrect it is to assume our goal or ascended outcome is a place at all. It has been useful in manipulating and subjugating humanity, to encourage the idea that heaven and hell are places set apart from earth. This has imprinted beliefs that there are things we can do to go or avoid going there. That focus betrays our senses. We are often living in hellish frequency experiences, ever looking to avoid something worse.
Our beliefs, and avoidance in feeling the truth of our realities, help ensure that we will perpetually create the same. Heaven, after all, is something we are taught we must physically die to achieve any way. Instead, we argue over ways for people to get there, dehumanizing and invalidating other life forms that don’t support our version of ‘truth.” It is only when we are forced to fully feel the weight of our truth and recognize its costs in our own lives that we stop seeking a place. We see that we are only running from ourselves and our most vulnerable parts. These parts are innocent; they are simply wanting to be brought home, separated by walls of feeling, fearfully made to appear larger in size over time.
It is hard to imagine that all the troubles in the world exist in a unified field of peace. The illusion and complexity rampant in physical separation feels like a prison. It is only when we extract our energy and attention from the sources of distortion and deception in our lives, and redirect it to what truly uplifts, resonates, and energizes us that we can perceive the game of entrapment being played. When our focus and fight seek only to match our so-called opponent, we remain entangled and embroiled in the problem.
As PEACE, we can hold space for all our contradictions inside and out. We entertain contradictions in thought and action all the time. We ignore them in our belief and authority structures to maintain our status quo. We believe in them out of fear. We exhibit them as they are convenient to us in getting what we want. We worship them in others where we confer power or responsibility. We deny them in ourselves and hide them from others when we seek righteousness. We call it out in others when its advantageous. All the while PEACE smiles, knowing all as simply the illusions of a solitary argument. There is one love, in various dimensions, vibrations, frequencies, degrees, and expressions—all valuable, all part of a grander design and operation.
Living in the US, we are reminded of gratitude in November. The holiday season is kicked off, which is triggering for many due to any unresolved or challenging circumstances of family or economy. This year, I was able to be more present. I have simplified my holidays over the last few years to start new traditions that honor quality time and peace with my immediate family. Slowing things down helped me experience things on a deeper level. November’s funeral procession helped me to observe and detach from old judgments and obligations that interfered with the meaningful connections that are truly active and supportive in my life.
In death’s transformation and procession, I continued to refine and realign my energy. I saw this in the dream space as rooms getting cleared out, bookshelves and cabinet drawers emptied. I took the trash out and cleaned the floors in one sequence. I also observed empty fish tanks. I observed the water removed from ones that were no longer viable, containing dried up or dead plants and creatures. The water was then rerouted to a tank that was still active, and I witnessed it come back to a more vivid color and bustle. I understood that I had old attachments that I was sending energy to that was long dead and gone. The past runs in our minds far longer than it exists. We get caught up in animating ghosts and fantastical projections of events and others, often to avoid accepting how we feel in the present. This distraction fractures our potency and integrity in accomplishing the things we set out to experience. Many of the files of information stored in our system are handed down through the bloodlines and maintained subconsciously, influencing us in ways we seldom recognize or question. We are vast, multidimensional beings of creative expression and experience. We are being encouraged to embody more of our authentic energy and to grow in new directions that are more compatible and harmonious with us. We are making space for new opportunities and conscious choices to help us get there.
On the final day of the funeral procession, I visited my favorite local spot in nature, and was held in so much love and connection. I am always amazed at the selflessness of the earth. I was overcome with gratitude to be received this way, and to witness more upgrades at the park.
The holidays brought a little heaviness from changes in my family, but the land reminded me that our suffering often comes from our pre-conceived notions and expectations of things. We have ideal standards and obligations handed down that are seldom reflective of our realities, and we often judge ourselves in the ways they fail to comply. The spirit of the land reminded me of how much I am loved, and of how my regular visits and energy shared with the park, added to the beauty continuing to unfold now. Love is a mutually beneficial exchange. In the spot that I prayed weekly for over a year, is now a beautiful bench dedicated with the purpose “Share a message of Kindness.”
I cried on that bench overwhelmed with joy for having been a part of its journey. That land held me through my darkest times, and to see new love offerings bloom there as they are unfolding in my own life, made my heart sing. I felt a tremendous outpour of love from our connection, my cup overfilled and overflowing. I was then encouraged to surrender the old attachments, projections, and expectations into the lake to be recycled. I could replenish myself with all the love I needed there.
LOVE is all around us, but if we are limiting ourselves to only receiving it from certain places, and those places fail to meet our needs due to their own shortsightedness, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and deprivation. We simply need to open our hearts, our circles, our horizons…
In November’s completion, I was taken last night to retrieve things/energy I had in another’s home. I was also shown an imbalanced pattern or tendency I had in that relationship so I could close it out for good. When we close out toxic patterns in ourselves, it can end the relationships that are not able or willing to relate in a new way. Sometimes, however, it can give another the awareness needed to change it in themselves. We can call our light back from any places of fragmentation and know that our wholeness is naturally loving and inclusive without having to prove we are loved, lovable, or valuable. It is not selfish or unkind to do so. If one side of a relationship suffers to maintain the connection, it is not truly loving for either.
I am truly grateful for the parade of the past that I’ve hosted this month. In taking an honest and accepting ownership of it, I was able to release so much shame and guilt for my “story.” I was also guided at the end of October to surrender all attachments to my book. I was given a choice point to go to an event to promote it, or to attend a new opening in support of the next phase I was shown. I chose the opening.
TRUE LOVE NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIES is only a small part of my story. It’s a true story, and it was written and offered in so much love, but it is not the totality of who I am or where I am now. I release it to have its own journey, without expecting it to be or validate me in any way. It was always about the journey, and I was healed so much in the telling and producing of it for myself.
It is truly joyful to know yourself—to be at peace with who and where you are in the moment. It is from that space that peace is realized. You do not have to chase it or wait for it to show up externally. It won’t until it is truly encountered in you. Peace does not need to be right or need any one to conform to its story or ideals. Peace knows that all conflicts and paradoxes are reclaimed into unity eventually. It is never too late to begin, and it is a journey that always starts within. I pray you find your origin in PEACE this holiday season, and that you will prioritize it for yourself, your life, your family, your community, your country, your continent, your world, your universe….
Peace be with you 🕊
Death Becomes Her
Scorpio season came in with a transformative and beautiful bang for me. The whole month of October has presented challenges, but all with opportunities to dig deeper and excavate treasure.
I started with a visit to my daughter’s college campus in TN. It was beautiful weather and so good to be together. Her transition has brought up a lot in me. As my parenting roles change with each consecutive child, parts of me undergo a death process. I lose identities and connections to things that really consumed my focus and time. As space is created, there is emptiness and a grief in knowing that parts of my life that I loved so much are over. I also get to see new aspects of myself that are grasping or attached in ways that I know are needing adjustment. Children need freedom to truly explore themselves and what they are here to do. As I observe myself and all that I am still unraveling in influences and conditions I was imprinted with in childhood, I realize how important it is to let my children be.
As I shift out of the pervasive setting of fear, I realize how much I impacted them unintentionally with my own negative perceptions and experiences of the world. This is done without conscious intent. This is done without words. As I shift ancestral influences in me, I realize how much we are impressed with energies from our bloodlines. This is especially true for our mother’s line. We are formed inside them and connected to their auric field strongly for the first incarnation cycle. The wisdom and power of mother is returning to its proper place on earth, and as we restore this in ourselves and families, it will literally change and elevate the frequency of life here.
As I have raised and loved my children at various stages, it has helped nourish the child in me that longed for such things. I think one of the reasons people struggle with the proverbial “empty nest” as their children leave, is the time it leaves for them to spend with themselves. They may feel that their primary sources of love and joy are gone, but in truth it is a time to offer these things to themselves. We are not taught this, so it seems uncomfortable at first. The grief is deeper than the loss or rite of passage, it is a death that is a necessary function of life, birth, rebirth, and creation itself. We get to explore new aspects of ourselves, and see where we are holding on to fears and stereotypes about these phases that can be shifted to live more peacefully and authentically.
I had children young so I always felt like I was growing up with them in a way. I am so grateful for the time I have with them and for their patience with me as I stumbled through life. All of the pressures I placed on myself to attain or be something of value, didn’t really matter. There is love in all of it that has sustained.
I came back from TN to support a family ,member in the hospital. This was to correct something that resulted from an earlier emergency. It was a reinstatement of sorts, allowing for a renewed sense of gratitude for what remains after a period of loss and brush with death delivered a new world view. Death always allows for a new opening or beginning. What we struggle to let go of, is often a relief after we overcome the fear of losing it. I was blessed to be visited by a friend that had eclipse glasses while there, so I was able to see the solar fire eclipse. I marveled at the many faces of the sun during the event, and how bright and strong the sun light is even while eclipsed. That sentiment stays with me as darkness and discord are stirred up in the world. I know the light does not have to fight, it only shines and absorbs the shadow in its wake.
Humanity will rise to transcend its subjugation to polarity and separation. The projected poisons must surface to be recognized in resonance and reflection. We continue to see divisive extremes in race, politics, religion, wealth and other seemingly opposite poles, behaving more in likeness and similarity. They are matching in energetic resonance, and not actually as different as the surface stories proclaim. Hate is hate, violence is violence, blame is blame, and the accuser is often proven guilty of that which is accused. In the limited understanding and experience of separation, people project their own issues and emotions onto others. They blame others for what they refuse to see in themselves. This is especially true in times of discomfort and misfortune. As more people recognize that this happens in themselves and their relationships, they will free themselves from the shackles of victimization all together. Freedom starts from the inside out.
We are dying to old forms, ideas, constructs, beliefs, identities, and all their restrictive bindings. This causes major shifts in the frameworks that they create, inhabit, and reinforce. When we first see the deception and distortion in longstanding systems and beliefs, we are affected in proportion to the degree we have personal investment. If they are a large part of our identity and focus, we may be in shock and loss as they falter in decline. Some will be in denial because of this, and double down with a sinking or exploding ship. We all have paths of growth and choice here, perfect for our soul evolution and purpose. Our best bet is on ourselves; what is dying, what is opening, and what is being reborn in our self?
For me the resolutions have been very active in the dream realm. I have been a willing participant in addressing any armor or defensiveness I find in myself that created distortion or distance in my relationships or perceptions of others. When I first encountered my inner fortress and default protection setting, I was in shock. I was putting myself in new uncomfortable situations of vulnerability that set them off. It took time to develop them, and it has taken patience and practice to feel safe in relinquishing them. Some are unconscious and from other dimensional incarnations. They arise as we are ready to process them.
In a recent dream I was in another earth incarnation where I was murdered. I lived through the event in a way that allowed me to process and understand the residual effects of the trauma affecting me here. I was still holding shock, betrayal, devastation, and grief. I was murdered with my best friend and her small child. I had begged and bartered myself to spare her life to no avail. When I awoke, I created a space for myself to feel what was ready to move and be acknowledged. There were parts of me angry at myself for my helplessness and ineffectiveness, and at God for creating this complexity. I understood how this generated an overall feeling of mistrust toward others, an ongoing backdrop of danger and sorrow. I also hardened myself to prevent trusting or connecting too deeply because of the pain of loss. This really doesn’t stop us from feeling or suffering, it just imprisons us and causes feelings of isolation and segregation. When I was younger I numbed myself with alcohol to be social, but I was locked in armor as long as I can remember. I knew I was not normal and believed myself to be defective, but until I met these inner barriers I didn’t fully understand the extent.
I additionally was gifted in dreamtime with symbolic representations of other distorted beliefs I was holding on to in my subconscious. When we cannot access them consciously, we are left breadcrumbs. I was first alerted by my body. My digestive system slowed down to a miserable impasse. I was constipated for days. I knew there was something I was not digesting; something I was needing to let go of that was blocking flow and harmony. I was guided to slow down, to focus and nurture myself. As I began inquiry, I received. I was still holding fears of betrayal and abandonment. I was holding unprocessed anger and shame from my story. This was shown to me so I could address and process the energy, and then I could choose to move forward with a new understanding and willingness. We process major traumas over time cyclically, with each round having less disruption and charge when we are willing to let it go. As I took the time to prioritize my body and what it was telling me, I was relieved of the heaviness in the way. As I address my body as an intelligent vessel of awareness and technology, I am continuously amazed at its ability to communicate, cooperate, and mutate in response.
Things came to a magnificent culmination as soon as Scorpio season started. I was guided to do a reiki prayer ceremony for myself. I was to focus my attention and efforts on self love. I was guided to start by cleansing all roots and forms of self abuse. I then initiated the energy transmission and was taken to a clearing in a fairytale-looking wooded area. In the center I saw my current form in a glass coffin, similar to the scene in Snow White. Archangel Michael’s sword was lying along the length of my body on top of the glass. I appeared dead, and there was a long procession of all of my former selves in this life. They were arranged in line according to age, going back in time to conception. By my side, was my winged light self holding my hand and making adjustments, as each aspect of self came to pay love and respect before they merged into my resting form. It was attended by many other guides and beings, but the event pertained to all versions of myself.
I felt so loved and witnessed; I additionally felt love for every version of me in time. I made peace with myself and was able to finally lay rest to humiliations, judgments, and grudges held. After all aspects were called home, I watched my light self adjust the technology of my form before she too merged with it. I then saw myself rise new, to be welcomed by my attending team of light and support. It was a celebration of death and life, for nothing is truly lost but is reclaimed and part of the new shape moving forward. I was guided to then walk out into the world, and felt awkward in the body as I grounded into it. I was in joy and gratitude for what was accessed in death. My body continued to integrate and accommodate the upgrades in light through the night.
Death continues to be a source of awe and transformation in my process. When I lost my brother in 2014, I was facing some of the darkest parts of myself that encouraged me to consider it as a possible relief. At that time, I perceived it as an ending that was final, and a threshold uncrossable. It was cruel, and in opposition to life. I wrote about this time in my book TRUE LOVE NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIES, where I share how my brother reached out to me after his transition. It was through his ongoing love and support, that I learned to perceive death differently. I was able to experience love as intelligent and eternal, and I see now how death is one of love’s primary functions for growth and creation.
We are love experiencing ourself in various expressions of creation through time. We are no stranger to death, and it is our fears and beliefs about death that are in the way of us experiencing more peace and freedom here. We can embrace death, befriend death, and become death when we are called to change. We need not fear what we perceive is lost to us forever; what is real in love remains. What is important for our growth and wisdom do also. We can process and integrate the charges of the energy, while maintaining the experiential pearls.
Death encourages us to challenge everything in our reality. When it strikes to remove something or someone significant, it forces us to reconfigure ourselves, our perceptions, and our relationship with everything. We are always in various phases of birth and death energetically in life. Right now there is some part of you dying. There are layers of the past seeking rest and reconciliation in you. As you succumb to it as an aspect of life, instead of resisting it out of fear, you will find it has much to offer. You will also find it has companions that are available to you, to assist you in learning to let go.
Fear not the emptiness and space it leaves. Do not rush to fill it with new activities, attachments, and things. Let yourself be filled with you for awhile. Return to simple chores and steps. Take notice and comfort in the reliable rhythms in nature. Let flow run wild. You won’t run out of tears. In these empty spaces we find openings to places long forgotten and left untended. When the light enters there, a new world emerges within.
I would love to hear from you! What are your experiences with death? Where are you being called to let go? To transform? To be new?
May you find your own darkness more fruitful than fearful! Happy treasure hunting and Happy Halloween 👻💜
