June started with an amazing dream encounter. I was visited by a parade of tigers. All were multi-colored and sparkling with various jewels and fancy adornments. I locked eyes with one for a long time and connected to a goddess energy. She was fierce in her love, secure in herself, and in service to a higher truth that allows her to be unaffected by any chaos she sees in the world. She knows her strength and direct connection to life, and allows herself to be directed by its ebb and flow..
She arrived after a culmination of karmic resolution with the feminine aspect in my life. The month of April brought a situation that allowed me to see the darker dynamics of one side of my family that I had suppressed for the sake of peace. I was still able to navigate things on the surface diplomatically, while addressing the energies inside me that were long ignored. Instead of giving my power away to old childhood pain, or returning the hostility encountered in another, I experienced myself coming from a place of love and detachment. I allowed my feelings, acknowledged them and parented myself privately, while I held a space for others to feel angry, threatened, and unkind. From detachment I was able to literally see the fear patterns as a shroud of darkness preventing them from connecting to the love. I saw the fear narratives and intentions running too. I experienced myself unaffected by them as I chose to be, noticing the directed anger was impersonal and couldn’t penetrate the love I held for myself and the situation. When I felt a slight and my wounded child sprang up in defense, I spoke silently inside offering love and affirmations of worth, and felt a warm energy radiate from my heart lifting me into a higher experience of wholeness. I did not need anything or anyone outside of me to change, to make me feel better. I am capable myself, and I acknowledged their right and ability to choose their own grace and pace.
I have grown more comfortable in being open and present in my encounters, without any need to assess for protection or safety first. It took some time to see my walls and their effect on my experiences. It also took an ongoing commitment and discipline to shift the energy. Trust in others, directly correlates to trust in self. When we experience violations in our early years, it diminishes both.
In the same vein, growth in one area also contributes to progress in the other. As we heal the lower frequency traumas in ourselves, we attract higher outcomes, and see clearly where the lower is present to secure ourselves naturally. Our resolutions are medicine for any similar energetic matches in our reality. We may attract others with similar experiences to be inspired by our success. How we overcome things, is inspiration and a higher frequency for that possibility in others.
May took me to the other side of the family, to wrap up a situation I had been working on for over the last year. In truth, I was always entangled more on this side of the family, so the inner work was often focused there.
One of my children graduated high school, throwing many together in celebration and closure that was a rite of passage that rippled out. I knew I was emerging in one sense; I was opening my home after many changes and time apart. With the rebirth of Easter, my home underwent a complete purge and makeover. I knew it was spiritually supported and symbolic. The inspiration and means came together quickly and easily, and I could see it was reflective of the work and success we accomplished in ourselves and as a family. I also felt a chapter closing in my life that necessitated a clearing of the old, to make space for the new.
The transformation was on all levels. My body started moving old emotional energy, while physically clearing through an intense menstrual cycle, and transmuting childhood energy in a surge of poison ivy that erupted on my arms. I was being challenged to address my inner needs, while hosting and attending gatherings for my daughter and guests. A few came with unhealed hurt and attachments that were directed at me. I observed but remained diplomatic and neutral. I was again able to see the energy and experience myself unaffected by it. Any emotional residue that was left, was accepted and allowed to process in me without any drama or need to involve others. I saw again, the impersonal nature of it, although it was aimed and projected at me. After I addressed any personal wounds from childhood, and feelings of disappointment, I had compassion for all in their process. I relieved myself fully from any perceived obligation or temptation to explain or fix anything with another. The result was LIBERATION, with permission granted for us all to progress at our own pace, with our choices, and our understandings regardless of our status of agreement.
These events helped me to come more into my own. I did not need my worth or changes validated outside of me, I embodied them and experienced them myself. I let myself acknowledge the victories and treasures unapologetically, knowing I could feel good for the good in my life even when others were unable or unwilling to join. Guilt has vacated, along with a pervasive shame that was always there keeping me in my place, awaiting a punishment I imagined I deserved.
April and May brought many opportunities for healing and closure to major themes, challenges, and identities in my story. I was given opportunities to put my choices and ideals into practice and action, both serving as necessary components to shift patterns and frequency in the physical. I had been working toward the freedom and abundance I am currently experiencing now for a long time. These incidents felt like loose ends that still took up some of my energy and space in my psyche, requiring adjustment and redirection. Old limiting views and beliefs about myself and my abilities must expand if I am going to step into something new and enjoy the fruits of my labor.
Despite the challenges, a sense of gratitude and grace was continuously present and felt. New doors also opened, with new relations that reflected the higher qualities I had worked toward. It became apparent to me, that I was simply being encouraged to assess the energy constructs and connections I still had in operation, some unconsciously, to choose what I wanted to continue moving forward with in investment. We are increasingly being shown truth: the truth in our relationships, our thoughts, our choices, and our circumstances on personal and collective scales. If we are not emotionally or mentally invested and connected to the divisive conflicts and dramas stirred up in the social atmosphere, we are not experiencing the entrapment and despair befalling many. We are beings with creative intent and choice, complicit in our own undoing or empowerment. The choice is ours. Are we energizing someone else’s agenda and narrative, or determining and delighting in our own? We are here to fulfill our unique purpose and destiny, which is always in concert with our divine connection. We are divine in nature and need only remember and cultivate this truth in ourselves to find our way.
For me, this required declarations and demonstrations of the energy I wanted to embody and experience. It did not matter what was common or traditional in my reality, what did I want in my heart? If I wanted love, then it was for me to invite it, bring it, BE it. When I was rejected or met with another quality, I could still choose love. I could be compassion, without diminishing or harming myself in any way. Who I am, what I choose, how I act is on me.
Can hatred and misunderstanding be met with love? Yes
Can ignorance and fear elicit compassion? Absolutely
Love is truth, and truth is not tarnished or diminished by misperceptions or distortions. Truth has no agenda, just mechanisms of energy, experience, and creation that stand on their own whether one adheres to them consciously or not. All are still subject to them and any resulting consequences or effects arising from choices made or actions taken that are contrary.
In a lower frequency bandwidth of experience on earth, we were limited and imprisoned by the distortions in thought and density of suppressed emotions. We were manipulated in ways to keep us in a manageable state, only accessing a small portion of our inherent wisdom and potential. We have lived out of balance, suppressing the feminine polarity of creation mentally, emotionally, and physically in ways that are detrimental to our species and planet. What we do to ourselves, is reflected in nature, and vice versa. There is no separation.
The tigress I merged with in my dream, is an energy returning to a position of power here. She is rising in all of us, commanding a return to love, and the right use of life force. She knows how to hold space for a higher vision and focus her energy and intent exclusively there to dream into being what is possible, rather than settling for same or waiting for saved. She speaks in feeling and symbol. She guides from the heart and skills with imagination, creative play, and song. She knows her realm is the space of creation, and she is not limited by the patterns and frameworks that inhabit and serve to enhance it. She is in love and harmony with the masculine aspect, operating in tandem in all creation. She knows through him her manifestations are implemented and protected.
As more awaken to her calling, and balance these forces inside themselves, solutions outside of the current mental constructs will be realized and executed. Barriers of fear will be easily recognized and reclaimed inside, removing their effects externally and allowing acceptance and unity to override the need to be right, or better, or validated from another. A love and trust in life will return. Emotions will be recognized and processed effectively, without projecting and reacting inappropriately toward others. The wounds and fears of our early childhood and past, won’t be allowed to haunt and influence our present foundations.
The Tigress asks us to rise in majesty and maturity. She reminds us that we are one with life and born with a sacred responsibility. We are strong enough to hold the higher truth with love in our hearts, and compassion for those exploring paths and timing different from our own. In honoring the higher love and its guidance inside us, we are united and supported by forces much vaster than we can perceive, assisting us in pioneering changes that will serve creation and usher the earth into a new era of peace.
The next night I was with two tigers, male and female. In the dream they were slightly restless and hungry, and I was keeping them tame in a crowd of people. There were smaller domesticated cats around that I was worried the tigers would harm from their size difference, or attempt to eat because of their hunger. They needed to be fed. I awoke understanding this to be related to my passionate and creative fire; a fire that needs an outlet and stimulation to be managed and effectively handled. When we have build-ups of unsatisfied or unrecognized emotions and thoughts with no direction or healthy release, we often take them out on others. If we have little understanding of our emotions, we project them on to others or make others responsible for what we are feeling. As we increase our light quotient and potency, we also expand our impact and influence on those around us. Mastering our thoughts and emotions is key to contributing positively to our environment. As humanity continues to process all emotional residue personally and collectively, confusion and reactivity will be experienced by many. More are needed to demonstrate energetic mastery, to help channel the lower frequency emotions into higher creative inspirations and innovations that uplift all.
The depths of our experiences are rising for us to be internally fulfilled and free. Love has purpose for our unique expressions and medicine. Walk with tiger and imagine what the universe can accomplish through you!